


abengers assemble

by whatsanaccounttoagod



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And Sometimes That Means Buying His Son Netflix, Discord Chat - Freeform, Existential Crisis, F/F, F/M, Family Dynamics, Flash Is A Hoe, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Group chat, Guilt, Identity Issues, Loki And Thor Are Siblings Not Dating, Loki Wouldn't Stab Peter, M/M, Mind Control, Minor Character Death, Multi, Other, Out of Character, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Polyamory, Talking, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, hugs are needed, if you like your polyamory here is the place, lots of guilt, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-06-09 19:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 26,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15274845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsanaccounttoagod/pseuds/whatsanaccounttoagod
Summary: They don't know what they expected when they joined the kid's discord server, but it probably wasn't this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> while this is 90% crackfic mobile won't let me add most of the tags i want (and since i don't have a computer that likely won't be changed) so i'll try to list any warnings in chapter notes. stay safe, honeys!  
> this fic is probably very ooc as im very biased toward my favorite characters and how i want them to interact and havent actually seen or even read the source material for most of them.  
> if you think i should tag something i didn't let me know! thank you for reading this far <3
> 
> UPDATE UHHH SOMETIME APRIL 2019: IM ADDING SOME FORMATTING TO HOPEFULLY MAKE IT GOOD BUT MY FEAR OF NOT SAVING AND LOSING EVERYTHING IS ACTING UP AGAIN. if some chapters have weird formatting thats why eyyyy
> 
> UPDATE 2 STILL IN APRIL 2019: as im doing the custom skin im making it fit discord dark mode. it should be legibly formatted without the workskin for you light mode users but some stuff migbt be a bit weird. im really REALLY bad at html but im gonna try to completely recreate the look of discord dark mode over time.
> 
> if its just an eyestrain bc you have ao3 set to default coloring mode but you dont mind darl mode in general, scroll all the way to the bottom of the page and on the left in the footer theres a dropdown to select workskins. reversi is the standard dark mode for ao3 and while its not discord dark its still a lot better than suddenly, dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for a slight identity crisis, if theres anything else you think should be warned for please tell me!

**[Welcome to the beginning of the #general channel.]**

 

**ironman**

@spodermen kid

@spodermen perms

@spodermen Boi give me perms or i swear to fuckall i will take them myself

 

**spodermen**

no

 

**Steve**

I would, but according to the members list, you don't exist here.

 

**ironman**

What do you mean

 

**Steve**

Never mind.

I can't give you the role anyway.

 

**spodermen**

xbslcnals

 

**ironman**

Kid i sweat to fucking god

 

**spodermen**

sweat

 

**Steve**

Sweat.

 

**ironman**

I will put the training wheels back on your suit

 

**spodermen**

OK IM WORKING ON UT

 

**[Welcome to the beginning of the #abengers-private channel.]**

 

**spodermen**

im not working on it

**ironman**

imgay2001 is not a secure password

 

**spodermen**

fcuk abort mission

 

**[#general - 4:20 PM]**

**spodermen**

🅱laze it

 

**iron man**

Will you stop it with the fucking bs

 

**spodermen**

no

 

**iron 🅱an**

 

**[#abengers-private]**

**spodermen**

anyone else got someone to ass

ADD

 

**iron 🅱an**

Ass

 

**Steve**

Ass.

 

**spodermen**

im serious pls add the rest of yall

im serious pls add the rest of yall

im serious pls add the rest of yall

 

**iron 🅱an**

Are you okay

 

**Steve**

Is any of Generation Z?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Good point

 

**[#general]**

 

->Ha! **Thunder** has joined! You activated my trap card!

 

**spodermen**

i fucked up

thor right

 

**Thunder**

Yes, Man of Spiders!

 

**spodermen**

great ok

discord mobole isa bitch but there you are

idk what color you wanted but storm clouds are grey and non-god-caused thunder comes from storm clouds right

 

**Thunder**

This will be fine!

Why is the letter "b" in a box?

 

**spodermen**

//sweats,,,

 

**iron 🅱an**

Memes i guess

 

** [Welcome to the beginning of the #peter-talks-to-hisefl channel.] **

**spodermen**

this isnt ok

i just. donr know whats even wrong

at least as spiderman my problems are simple

as peter parker theyre even simpler and a lot less lofe threatening

buy that leaves rhe question

who am i rsally

im not just peter anymore. i havent been for a while

but im not spiderman either

what if im nobody

what if

bsoxbaodbs

whatevrr

it doesnt mayyer

ill see if mr. stark wants to port friday oer

 

**[#general]**

 

->Ready player **FRIDAY**

 

**iron 🅱an**

@spodermen Hands off

Oh you havent even added the code yet

Still

 

**spodermen**

im sorry

 

**[#peter-talks-to-hisefl]**

 

**spodermen**

i havemt slept

it doesnt narrer anywG

i dont sleep much

but

irs loud

its loud sbd i know itd not good

its been four days

id like to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chat makes a lot more sense in discord but im too broke to afford internet that lets me upload images on a regular basis and css on mobile is a pain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki joins the fray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god im so sorry for the shitstorm that is me trying to figure out how loki would act so yeah sorry for extreme oops  
> peter gets a bit self-deprecating

** [#general] **

 

->lowkey just joined. Can I get a heal?

**spodermen**

well shit

 

**lowkey**

who you well shitting at

 

**spodermen**

u

 

**lowkey**

fuck off

 

**spodermen**

no

 

**lowkey**

bitxh

 

**spodermen**

bitxh

 

**Thunder**

Bitxh?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Bitxh

 

**Steve**

Bitxh.

 

**lowkey**

this is slander

 

**spodermen**

didnt you stab your brother and he just kinda went "aw cute"

 

**lowkey**

i will have you know we were much younger then

 

**spodermen**

yes two thousand years ago

 

**Thunder**

You are still cute, Loki!

 

**lowkey**

out of context that sounds so wrong

 

**spodermen**

Jvcohcggh

 

**iron 🅱an**

It wasnt weird until you made it weird

 

**lowkey**

bitch

 

** [#abengers-private] **

 

**spodermen**

does loki need access to this chat

 

**iron 🅱an**

No

 

**Steve**

No.

 

**Thunder**

Yes!

 

**iron 🅱an**

Yes

 

**spodermen**

mr stark disbdosb

 

**iron 🅱an**

Maybe

 

**spodermen**

fcuk it we can always just ban him

its not like we even talk about anything confidetial heee

 

**lowkey**

die

 

**spodermen**

bold of you to assume im alive

 

**lowkey**

touche

 

** [#general] **

 

**iron 🅱an**

Has anyone seen Peter

 

Steve

No, why?

 

**iron 🅱an**

He wont pick up and hes not at home and he sure as fuck isnt here

 

 

**Steve**

Can't you track his phone and suit?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Do you really think that wasnt the first thing i did

Theyre at his aunts apartment

He isnt

 

**Steve**

Is it possible he didn't _want_ to be tracked?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Nobody wants to be tracked steve

 

**Steve**

No.

I mean, maybe he just wanted a break.

 

**iron 🅱an**

THEN HE CAN TELL SOMEONE

 

**Steve**

Calm down, Tony.

Is there anyone he would go to just for relaxing?

 

**iron 🅱an**

...Yeah

 

**Steve**

Perhaps you could start there if you're worried?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Still no response but their phones are at the same place

Peter better be with them i swear to god

 

**Steve**

Tony, please calm down.

 

**iron 🅱an**

I am calm

 

**Steve**

You're in the suit.

 

**iron 🅱an**

He idolizes all of us why do you think he throws himself face first into dangerous situations

I wont do anything im just making sure hes ok

 

**Steve**

Give him space.

Check Karen's logs, if that's what it takes to pacify you.

 

**iron 🅱an**

I dont need to be pacified i need to know hes safe and not dead in an alley because he tried to stop someone without the suit

 

**Steve**

You need to let him live a little.

Is it possible he simply forgot his phone?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Yeah but that doesnt explain ned and mj not picking up

 

**Steve**

Modern phones can be silenced, correct?

 

**iron 🅱an**

God dammit

 

**Steve**

Your dad mode is showing.

 

**iron 🅱an**

No

 

**Steve**

You care about Peter a lot.

 

**iron 🅱an**

I dont want a kid dying because he's unprepared and decides oh hey why dont i do something dumb like STOP A MAN FROM ROBBING A PLANE BY GETTING A BUILDING DROPPED ON ME, CONTINUING TO ENGAGE SAID MAN, AND TAKING DOWN A PLANE THAT SOUNDS FUN

 

**Steve**

Would you do this for any other child?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Dont do this steve

 

**Steve**

Congratulations, Tony. You're a dad.

 

**iron 🅱an**

I cant be a dad

 

**Steve**

Why not?

 

**iron 🅱an**

Id make a horrible dad

Why are we even discussing this here if were discussing my minimally protective habits shouldnt we do it somewhere else

 

**Steve**

Maybe.

~~For the record, Tony, I think you're doing great.~~ 1 blocked message

 

**spodermen**

im sorry mr stark we fell asleep

 

**[lowkey + 🅱eter]**

 

**lowkey**

oh my god peter please let me change tonys nickname

 

**🅱eter**

done

 

**[#general]**

 

**iron dad**

Never scare me like that again

What the fuck kid

 

**[lowkey + 🅱eter]**

**🅱ete** r

ncaabdkabs

IMNOT GONNA COVER FOR YOU

 

**lowkey**

you will

 

** [#general] **

 

**spodermen**

dbaxbaoa IT WASNT ME

 

**lowkey ******

****  
** **

you helped

 

**spodermen**

I DIDNT KNOW

 

**lowkey**

queens im a chaos god what did you think i was going to do

 

**spodermen**

SOMETHING CHAOTIC

 

**lowkey**

you say that as if this isnt

 

**spodermen**

MORE CHAOTIC

 

**Steve**

Peter, the only thing that could cause more chaos than this is if he renamed Tony to "Sugar Daddy."

 

**lowkey**

ooh good idea

 

sugar daddy

What did the fourth of july say i have him blocked

NO

 

**spodermen**

bdksvxja

 

sugar daddy

PETER STOP HIM

 

**spodermen**

LOKI THAT WAS TOO MUCH

 

**lowkey**

never

 

**spodermen**

GJFGLKJKH

 

**[lowkey + 🅱eter]**

 

**🅱eter**

pretend not to have the permissions anymore

you should still be able to if you cant lmk

 

** [#general] **

 

**lowkey**

:( peterrrrrr

 

**spodermen**

lokiiiiiii

 

**sugar daddy**

Im blocking you too loki

 

**lowkey**

:(

 

**[lowkey + :b:eter]**

 

**lowkey**

i cant but i dont care this is gold

dont let him change it back PLEASE

 

**🅱eter**

DONE FNSLCNKAS

 

**[#peter-talks-to-hisefl]**

 

**spodermen**

logically i know mr stark cares

but also

what if its all an act

what if he wants to get rid of me

maybe he just keeps me around out of a sense of obligation

like he feels he has to

or maybe hes just keeping me around until i fuck up

i dont know

maybe he secretly hates me

 

**lowkey**

queens wtf

 

**spodermen**

wtf

 

**lowkey**

wtf

 

**spodermen**

wtf

 

**lowkey**

you clearly have issues

 

**spodermen**

you arent supposed to be able to see this

 

**lowkey**

well i can so fuck off for two seconds

are you daft

you absolute lettuce

literally nobody who has met you is able to hate you you utter papaya

youre annoying as shit sometimes but i dont think its possible to NOT care about you

tony's not gonna kick you out just because you fuck up sometimes

and ngl im pretty sure youre not fucking up as bad as he is

 

**spodermen**

he isnt fucking up tho

 

**lowkey**

he was an alcoholic at your age and youre out trying to save the world

chill the fuck out and stop holding yourself to a standard you cant reach

 

**spodermen**

you can reach it

 

**lowkey**

im a god and you arent

 

**spodermen**

xbakdbja

but i shouldnt be the reason people die

ok tell me how many people you think you've indirectly killed because ive probably tried to kill my brother more

 

**spodermen**

ferry incident

 

**lowkey**

you know thor has more than just the snake story right

 

**spodermen**

yeah i figured

youre a chaos god tho

 

**lowkey**

peter fucking parker you wanna know how hard itd be to get tony to hate you

 

**spodermen**

not rlly

 

**lowkey**

too bad

i would feel bad if i stabbed you

 

**spodermen**

id heal tho??

 

**lowkey**

you naive fool

you act as though there arent about fifty squishy spots i can stab you that would injure your internal organs

 

**spodermen**

tru

 

**lowkey**

let me rephrase my initial statement

i, a literal god of chaos who has stabbed her own brother MULTIPLE TIMES, would feel bad for stabbing you fatally or not

if ive gotten attached to you after having met you an entire 5 minutes maybe in person what kind of effect do you think youd have on someone who's known you for like 2 years

 

**spodermen**

nichsis

 

**lowkey**

now im gonna get the fuck out of your talk to yourself space mostly because im the horse outside your door holding a box of sleeping meds

 

**spodermen**

LOKI FJSNXIAI

 

**lowkey**

if you dont get some sleep ill

idek

i wont play dnd with you

 

**spodermen**

fbsods i havr a campaign

well mj dms

 

**lowkey**

that can change

 

**spodermen**

FJSH

fine

 

**lowkey**

thank you

now go the fuck to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank yall for the comments and kudos you make my day :3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i accidentally lost this chapter while editing it and i am smad. i wish i had a computer because html on a phone is suffering.jpg
> 
> ALSO. loki is genderfluid because i want them to be and their discord icon changes hue based on whether theyre masculine/feminine/neutral. ill update tags after i finish formatting this chapter. its not very relevant but thats why knife cat is pink in the reciepts

**[#general]**

 

**spodermen**

  

 

**Steve**

Vriska.

 

**sugar daddy**

Did you just make a homestuck reference

 

**lowkey**

did you just recognize a homestuck reference

 

**sugar daddy**

 

 

**[Welcome to the beginning of the #announcements channel.]**

 

**spodermen**

@everyone please add everyone who isnt already here invite is <https://discord.gg/PhbAsqd>

 

**[🅱eter + lowkey]**

 

**🅱eter**

when youre online look at the server and dont say a word sbdisbs

 

**lowkey**

holy shit youre my new favorite

im gonna tell thor

 

**🅱eter**

ok make sure nobody tells mr stark

 

**[lowkey + Thunder]**

 

**lowkey**

look at the server

i saw you see this dont tell tony

 

lowkey + Steve - 10:13 PM

lowkey: you know what fuck it now you know too

lowkey: look at the server and dont tell tony

Steve: This is disproportionately amusing.

Steve: What kind of trouble are you planning?

lowkey: IT WASNT MS

lowkey: *ME

lowkey: IT WAS PETER I SWEAR CHECK THE LOGS

Steve: I can't check the logs. I'm on mobile.

lowkey: did tony make you take a starkphone

Steve: He didn't "make" me do anything.

Steve: I took it willingly.

lowkey: suuure

Steve: It's a free $1500 phone, Loki.

lowkey: you couldnt pay me to touch a starkphone

Steve: Are you sure?

lowkey: what do you mean am i sure

lowkey: if i wasnt sure i wouldnt have said it

lowkey: What about you, Rogers? Are YOU sure?

 

#general - 10:20 PM

stony tark: Loki used proper grammar and capitalization in a private message.

stony tark: I'm scared.

stony tark: power move

 

#general - 10:16 PM

stony tark: DAD I SWEAR IM OKAY

stony tark: You arent though

stony tark: i am

stony tark: Youre having a panic attack and somehow got karen to override friday

stony tark: im sorry i just need space rn okay

stony tark: do you still have the meds

stony tark: yeah

stony tark: What did you give him

stony tark: i gave him some tranqs becausd he wasnt sleeping

stony tark: anyway queens ffs this is what theyre for you will literally sleep it off

stony tark: then at the very least let stark in before he murders me for giving you tranqs you wont immediately metabolize

stony tark: cxsldbaos Guess I'll Sleep

stony tark: gn

stony tark: goodnight

stony tark: Im murdering you anyway

stony tark: ni dad

stony tark: dont nurdef kiju

stony tark: I assume he just passed out.

stony tark: Now can we get to the question of why everyone is named stony tark

stony tark: peter did it

stony tark: no joke he literally did it

stony tark: reciepts 

stony tark: also im on 3% so see you i guess

 

#general - 9:38 PM

stony tark: Has nobody considered changing their name back?

stony tark: ifbsofjaos

stony tark: i forgot

stony tark: It feels almost forbidden to change it first.

stony tark: its not i swear fjsbfisb

stony tark: here ill do it

tired: there you see not forbidden

Thorsty: Okay!

tired: OH MY FUCKIN GOD THOR FJBSIJSJS

Thorsty: :}

 

#general - 10:53 PM

tired: @Steve 

Steve: Pepsi is better.

tired: agreed but this what they had

Steve: "This what"

tired: 

 

#general - 12:25 PM

tired: oh my god it went from sunny as fuck to absolutely pouring in lije 30 seconds

tired: WAIT THIS IS PETER'S ACCOUNT DKJAKDBSKS

stony tark: Wait what

stony tark: Are you not peter

tired: uhh so peter probably doesnt know im in his phobe

tired: greetings from wisconsin

tired: anywau we might have met at pride and uhh 1) i love your work sir

stony tark: What

stony tark: Thank you but WHAT

tired: 2) but please shut the door behind you i know you mean well but i was able to let myself in using your backdoors

stony tark: WHAT

tired: sir i truly meant no harm i was trying to piggyback my own phone and forgot i had peters open

stony tark: How did you get in

tired: no offense sir but my house is more secure than your phone and you can literally card thw door

tired: ill send you the code to fix it when i take care of the flooding in my house

stony tark: Is there a flood

tired:no my window doesnt stay in and the storm knocked it out so my room flooded

tired: wait wtf

tired: oh hi peter

tired: what are you doing

tired: im bored and meant to play mystic messenger but accidentally broke into your phone

tired: why did you break into my phone

tired: it was an accident i swear

tired: how do you ACCIDENTALLY break into a phone

Steve: What is going on?

stony tark: Im not sure either

tired: i think i was dared to break into mr. stark's personal server once and since you were the closest device i had an ip for i piggybacked off your phone to find the ip for his wifi and from there it just kinda happened

stony tark: Can you not thanks

tired: im p sure i was drunk too

stony tark: wait peter or his friend

tired: his friend

tired: hey im v ill be in contact via peter since you have your dms closed

tired: ndosndos my moms panicking because of the storm _and_ my rooms flooded so cya in like ten minutes

tired: just add him

tired: what no that involves interacting

tired: hes really nice,,,

tired: peter im p sure he'd break into MY shit and rig it to explode

stony tark: Id just show up at your door personally

tired: thats not helping mr stark,,,

Steve: Language.

tired: english

stony tark: Just add him to the chat or something so i dont have ti try to guess who's talking

tired: nah im leaving now peace (peace fingers emoji)

tired: bye v

 

This is the beginning of your direct message history with @Thunder. - 8:59 PM

:b:eter: do you need a hug bud

:b:eter: likr idk. im just getting very strong Hug Me vibes from your general direction

Thunder: I would accept a hug.

:b:eter: im coming bud its hug time

Thunder: Thank you.

:b:eter: np

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wonk*
> 
> unless you want to youll probably never hear from v again that section was because i sent the message to the wrong chat jdgajxvz
> 
> this makes much more sense in the discord chat, but i think you can still tell who's who by their typing styles (other than loki and peter, but even theyre pretty distinct i think)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loki adopts a kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry liz

#general - 11:35 PM

-> Cheers, love! Liz's here!

 

#abengers-private - 11:46 PM

stony tark: Whats going on

tired: idl

tired: idk

mmmmagic: liz is here

stony tark: Isnt she peters girlfriend

tired: no,,,

tired: that was ONE time

tired: and im pretty sure she hates spidey and in turn about half the avengers so different loz

mmmmagic: was i not supposed to invite everyone

tired: well i guess we gotta deal with this now

tired: god that sounds a lot meaner than i wanted to

 

#general - 11:50 PM

Steve: Hello, Liz.

 

#abengers-private - 11:50 PM

Steve: Are we going to do anything?

 

#general - 11:51 PM

tired: yoooo

 

#abengers-private - 11:51 PM

stony tark: PETER NOBODY SAYS YO ANYMORE

tired: I SAY YO

mmmmagic: not for long

tired: wh. what does that mean

tired: loki

tired: loki oh my god

tired: THEYRE. A MOSQUITO

tired: THOR PLEASE CALL OFF YOUR SIBLING

Thorsty: Loki, stop it.

mmmmagic: im not doing anything

tired: I WILL SQUASH YOU

mmmmagic: bold of you to assume i can be squashed

mmmmagic: are you afraid of mosquitos peter

tired: NO

mmmmagic: YOU ARE

mmmmagic: };D

Thorsty: I'm coming to get them.

Thorsty: Please don't squash them too much.

tired: wait how are you texting as a mosquito

mmmmagic: mmmmagic

 

#announcements - 6:18 PM

stony tark: happy birthday peter

(O H S H I T)

 

#general - 1:29 AM

->A lowkeyloki has spawned in the server.

lowkeyloki: oh shiet what have i joined

MemeLord: Something fabulous

tired: a mess

mmmmagic: @lowkeyloki 

 

This is the beginning of the #scheming-against-mr-stark channel. - 10:31 PM

tired: this is gonna be a lot faster than chain dming everyone

tired: anyway hes gonna find some way to get me back for this but 

tired: shhh

MemeLord: Thats brilliant

tired: ksusla

 

#general - 2:33 PM

Whompsted: Ayoiii

tired: ayyyyy

MemeLord: Heyyy

Whompsted: Wayyyyy

tired: yayyyyy

MemeLord: Slayyyy

tired: payyyy

Memelord: Clayyy

tired: gayyy

Memelord: I can't top that

 

#general - 2:45 AM

lowkey fluid: S c r e e e c h 

MemeLord: Why does this feel like an actual conversation between Peter and Stark

lowkey fluid: It totally would be, tbh.

tired: it was

tired: @dr. stark can you confirm

dr. stark: Technically it was only the controlling shares

dr. stark: Also why

lowkey fluid: Can I-

lowkey fluid: get a free account?

lowkey fluid:  _ is hella broke, like no money at all. _

tired: yes

tired: actually, screw it, netflix is free for everyone now

MemeLord: you are now my favorite person

tired: thanks

MemeLord: You are welcome

lowkey fluid: shshshshshshs Y e s.

lowkey fluid:  _ Now I just need Hulu and Premium Spotify. _

tired: @iron man please dad help me achieve my dreams of destroying capitalism

iron man pinned a message to this channel.

iron man: Yes son

lowkey fluid: Oofy-

tired pinned a message to this channel.

lowkey fluid: What's it like having a dad-

lowkey fluid:  _ Only has moms- _

tired: its really nice actually now for him to not fucking die on me

Steve: Language.

lowkey fluid: Désole.

mmmmagic: stfu you cuss like a sailor when you think nobodys around

lowkey fluid:

tired: discord? more like discourse

mmmmagic: hello yes it is me

lowkey fluid:  _ Doesn't know if they should fangirl or get adoption papers. _

mmmmagic: both

iron man: Neither

lowkey fluid:  _ Fangirls as they hand Loki adoption papers. _ s I g n  p l e ase-

mmmmagic: you are my child now

mmmmagic: bow to me

lowkey fluid: Shhh- Iron Man- Loki's here-

lowkey fluid: Y E AS

iron man: Im being shushed in my own home

tired: technically its mine

iron man: Mine now

lowkey fluid: i don't care- Loki's my parent-

iron man: I bought you three major entertainment companies i get your discord server

tired: no

lowkey fluid:  _ S q u e a l s _ .

mmmmagic: mood

lowkey fluid: bfjde Also- since you adopted to me- you should know half the time I have a mentality of a 5 year old and will demand  for hugs, cuddles and kisses-

mmmmagic: that is acceptable

lowkey fluid: good-  _ Tackles and hugs Loki. _

mmmmagic: oh shit

mmmmagic:  _ hugs back _

 

Thunder + lowkey - idk i didnt look at the time

lowkey: am i doing good

Thunder: Yes.

 

#scheming-against-mr-stark

Thorsty: Why are we scheming against Stark?

mmmmagic: because stark is really easy to prank and peter is a little shit

MemeLord: ^

 

#general

lowkey fluid: I'm half tempted act like an actual five year old and ask what shit means-

mmmmagic: mood

lowkey fluid: What is the meaning of S H I T, parent- also are you mum or dad?

mmmmagic: why not both

lowkey fluid: Mapa?

mmmmagic: yes

lowkey fluid: Mapa sounds good to me-

mmmmagic: yeet

lowkey fluid: S q u e e

lowkey fluid: So- Mapa-

lowkey fluid:  _ Can you take over Spotify for me? _

mmmmagic: @tired give me spotify or ill turn into a mosquito again

tired: YOU CAN HAVE IT

lowkey fluid:  _ fist bumps the air _ i have the best mum/dad ever

mmmmagic: you do

lowkey fluid: vxhdhd i made plans to watch a tv show and forgot all about it-

lowkey fluid:  _ d i s a p p e a r s _

mmmmagic: have fun my child

tired: loki are you the spider

tired: i gave you spotify what else do you sant

mmmmagic: im not?

mmmmagic: oh my god are you afraid of spiders

tired: THAT DOESNT MATTER

iron man: Wow the irony

tired: THAT WAS HORRIBLE AND YOU KNOW IT

tired: also ppease come kill it,,,

iron man: Ughhhh okaaaayyyy

tired: love you dad

lowkey fluid:  _ c r i es _ don't kill it-

iron man: Im just gonna out it outside

lowkey fluid:  _ sniffles _ d u n  k i l l

Steve: This is giving me cavities. Who knew Tony could be so sweet?

iron man: Just because we had a fwb thing a while back does NOT mean you get to horn in on my parenting

tired: i dont think i wanted to kniw this

lowkey fluid: I don't even know what he means-

lowkey fluid:  _ is it dirty? _

iron man: Congrats steve! Youve traumatized my kid

mmmmagic: oh honey you dont wanna know

Steve: I did no such thing.

lowkey fluid: Buuuut, how am I gonna learn things?  _ p o u ts- _

tired: PLEASE TAKE THIS TO DMS OH MY GOD DAD WHY ARE YOU FOGHTING EVERYONE TODAY

mmmmagic: please my child protect your innocence

lowkey fluid: Okay-

lowkey fluid: Though- why does Peter get know this-

iron man: Peter googled it

mmmmagic: peter never listens to anyone is why he gets to know it

lowkey fluid: ill be a good child-

mmmmagic: you are always a very good child

lowkey fluid: even if i say cuss words that ive heard others say?

mmmmagic: yes

lowkey fluid: shshshs okay


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> flash is a hoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soRRY THIS IS SO SHORT I DONT FEEL LIKE TRANSCRIBING THE REST RN MOSTLY BECAUSE EVERY TIME I TRY I START WATCHING THE MOTHS ON MY CEILING
> 
> mention of a hallucination and some bullying mentioned in this chapter stay safe if youre sensitive to that kind of stuff

#general - some god awful time of the morning

im cool: #WELCOMETOHELL

Amy: WE HAVE COOKIES!

im cool: guys amy is here

im cool: its amy you guys

queens: DID SOMEONE SAY COOKIES

Amy: Yes that is my name >v<

Amy: I SAID COOKIES!!!

queens: I WANT COOKIES

im cool: WHAT TYPE

queens: THIN MINTS

Amy: Dog type

im cool: YO AMY DO YOU HAVE ANY THIN MINTS

Amy: I DONT BUT I'LL MMMMAGIC THEM UP!

queens: YAY THANK YOU

im cool: I WAS A GIRL SCOUT IN FOURTH GRADE THERE ARE EXPIRED COOKIES IN MY GARAGE

queens: DLAHDLASVA

Amy: I don't know what thin mints are thooooooo

queens: I THINK MR STARK HAS SOME BUT IM AT AUNT MAYS

queens: oh

im cool: THEY ARE

im cool: MINTY CHOCOLATE

queens: ^^

Amy: oH

im cool: mr stark would bring them to you if you asked he would do #anything4peter

queens: :D

Amy: like Cab oreo mint?

queens: hes sleeping probs

queens: THAT WORKS

im cool: oh thats good

im cool: UEAH

Amy: HE SLEEPS!?

queens: usually he passes out in the lab sometime after he starts hallucinating and yesterday he lost his shit p bad

im cool: yikes

Amy: Oh… that sounds about right of what I thought

queens: hes okay tho i think i asked friday to tell me if he got bad but so far she just told me he fell asleep around 5 AM

im cool: yay

Amy: As much as I like annoying him I really hope he's okay!

queens: i worry about him but i think hes gonna be as okay as he really gets

Amy: Well I'm always here if he needs me!

Amy: We can be fucked up tg

queens: aw thank youuuuu

queens: oh

Amy: Hay Peter?

queens: i mean thats about how movie nights go w the avengers but aw

queens: yeah(

Amy: does flash actually bully u?

queens: hdkshds does it count if i let him

im cool: hm

queens: better me than someone else right

queens: i know i am capable of making him shut the fuck up but i just kinda dont want him to start picking on someone else

im cool: i mean i kinf of get it

Amy: BUT UR A RAY OF SUNSHINE!!!!

im cool: flash is jealous

queens: flash is a hoe

im cool: thottie

Amy: But I do know where ur coming from,I get bullied like ALL the time

queens: aw that sucks :(

Birb Child: I don't really get bullied? Just ignored by everyone even when I try and make friends-

im cool: same

queens: aw

im cool: i mean everyone is nice to me cause they have no reason to be mean since i barely talk

Birb Child: Like- I'm the last one to get a partner and if it's a odd number, I'm the one working alone.

queens: oh

Birb Child:  _ Hides in the library cause no friends- uwu. _

im cool: well

im cool: an uwu for your troubles

queens: ill be your frieeeeend

Birb Child: yaaaay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please dont be like tony get your sleep i dont care if im a hypocrite who also crashes after hallucinating we are bad examples please get your sleep
> 
> if you want to follow me on tumblr for writing stuff [come at me bro](whatsanaccounttoagod.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has 10 minutes of lunch and cursed knowledge to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prepare yourselvse
> 
> sorry this is so short i have no more cursed info to share

#general - 30 Sept

Seventies Mom: Fun fact: green gummy bears are actually strawberry flavored

cursed one: They're what now

cursed one: What kind of sorcery is this

Seventies Mom: Also blueberries

Seventies Mom: I have issues with those

Seventies Mom: Because while they are blue (thus the name blueberries)

Seventies Mom: If you mash them they're purple and if you skin them they're green

Ink: HEY WELCOME TO FRUIT DISCOURSE WHAT FRUIT WOULD YOU LIKE TO CAUSE DISCOURSE WITH

Seventies Mom: Bananas are actually berries because the seeds are on the inside

Seventies Mom: Whilst strawberries are actually berries because the seeds are on the outside despite being named a strawberry

cursed one: I'm gonna fight you why are you doing this to me

 

#general - 1 Oct

queens: seeded berries are members of the rose family HOWEVER blueberries are not

queens: pickles are fruits

cursed one: Pickles are just cucumbers tho

cursed one: Are cucumbers fruits????

GQW: Yed

GQW: Cucumbers have seeds

GQW: Ergo they're fruit

queens: cucumbers are fruits so pickles are fruits

queens: peppers are fruits

queens: PINEAPPLE IS A VEGETABLE PINEAPPLES HAVE NO SEEDS

queens: seedless watermelons are Fake Actually

cursed one: 

queens: purple doesnt actually exist. the light spectrum doesnt loop. after red is infrared and after violet is ultraviolet. true violets can be made completely of blue hues. our brains completely.made up a color and to this day it fucks me up

cursed one: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS SPIDER CHILD

magic lady: hey peter why

cursed one: PETER BENJAMIN PARKER CAN 1V1 ME IN A DENNY'S PARKING LOT

cursed one: FIGHT ME SPIDER CHILD

queens: i have 10 minutes of lunch and cursed knowledge to share

queens: oxygen is toxic in its pure form

magic lady: peter just sit and eat your food p l e a s e

queens: IVE EATEN I SWEAR

queens: i want to share my cursed knowledge before i see whether adhd or my meds are stronger

magic lady: cursed child im done with you

cursed child: thats my name now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coffee + meds overriding coffee + adhd is half joke, half personal experience. caffeine only sort of affects me on a normal day but one of my meds interacts REALLY badly with caffeine so im stuck in I Hate Coffee But If Im Vibrating From Caffeine I Cant Fall Asleep


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok fcuk idk if im gonna continue this mostly because im lazy but idk if im gonna NOT continue it because some funny shit goes down in the discord

[#general]

cursed child: a terf followed me on tumblr do you think they know im trans

Miso-Bean: oh shut

Miso-Bean: Thank you autocorrect for making up an alternative for my consistent cursing and bad spelling

cursed child: KFHALDHAKSB

 

[#tony-embarrasses-peter]

virgin(ia): Once Peter cried because snakes don't have any arms.

virgin(ia): For  _ three hours _

big big mess: me

cursed child: but,,, they just,,, how do they move without tiny little arms to push them

virgin(ia): Fun fact:

virgin(ia):  _ they don't _

virgin(ia): That's why Loki was never successful in life

cursed child: wow

 

[#general]

cursed child: how do you open a package of poptarts

cursed child: i cant get it open

virgin(ia): Gasp

virgin(ia): Tear it open with your teeth

cursed child: but

virgin(ia): Uh

cursed child: but they arent my poptarys

virgin(ia): Oof same

virgin(ia): Grab the little spiky things on the top and tear them apart?????

virgin(ia): It's hard to-

cursed child: ...THATS WHAT THEYRE FOR??

virgin(ia): Wait lemme pull up wikihow

virgin(ia): y e s?????

[logs]

virgin(ia) has changed their name to potts and pans.

 

[#general]

potts and pans: Wiki how doesn't know how to open a package of poptarts

potts and pans: Smh

cursed child: JFLAHS

potts and pans: I'm offended

potts and pans: Oeuf

cursed child: i got the poptarts open now

potts and pans: Good job honey

potts and pans:  [ https://goo.gl/images/64aAqy ](https://goo.gl/images/64aAqy)

cursed child: :o they shared a poptart

potts and pans: Gasp

 

[#peter-and-pepper-embarrasses-tony]

Jamey: Tony cries about Peter a lot

cursed child: mr stark just cries a lot tbh i have a terabyte-ish of blackmail from friday because shes a babe and sends karen all of mr starks best moments, one of which includes him accidentally breaking an egg too hard, staring at the mess, and crying

Jamey: I need this footage

Jamey: Also, Tony will gush about Peter to literally anybody who'll listen

Jamey: It's mostly incoherent crying about how much he loves him

cursed child: can mr stark incoherently cry @ me abt how much he loves me so i can incoherently cry back at him abt how much i love him?? thanks @dont do this to me

Jamey: Tony needs to get online so we can expose him to his face

Jamey: I have years' worth of blackmail

cursed child: i have about a month of blackmail and one of them is him being terrified by blackmail he made karen send him sooo

Jamey: Terrified by blackmail??

cursed child: i played ddlc and freaked out and friday trolled mr stark by acting like monika was messing with her and it was kind of mean but now its just funny

Jamey: Oh my god

Jamey: Did you know that when Tony first made a working robot he cried for a full hour

cursed child: i can't believe mr stark is soft [EDITED]

Jamey: I saw that Peter

 

[#tony-embarrasses-peter]

dont do this to me: 

dont do this to me pinned a message to this channel.

cursed child: KDHALDHAKSH

Jamey: Exposed

cursed child: ive been ex:b:oseed

Jamey: Atone for your sins

potts and pans: Aw

Mama Spider: Well well well

Mama Spider: What do I have here?

Mama Spider: More blackmail?

 

[#general]

dont do this to me: Wow what a beautiful day to be alive

dont do this to me: Sun shining

dont do this to me: Three inches of snow

dont do this to me: Ice on the roads

dont do this to me: If i die its happys fault

RhodeyRhodes: We all know you're too stubborn to ddie

dont do this to me: Fair

RhodeyRhodes: Enjoy the ice, Elsa

Mama Spider: That's caps nickname, not Starks

cursed child: thats lokis

potts and pans: ^

Mama Spider: Hmmm

potts and pans: Tony doesn't even qualify as a Disney princess

potts and pans: Loki technically  _ is _ a Disney princess soooo

Basically God: ,

Mama Spider: Technically?

cursed child: what do yo mean mr stark isnt a disney princess he falls into every category provided by that one movie commercial

Mama Spider: He is one messed up disney princess then

Mama Spider: At least he doesnt wait around for someone to save him like he's a damsel in distress. He definitely fits the drama queen part though

RhodeyRhodes: Oh, without a doubt

potts and pans: Yup

potts and pans: Wait

potts and pans: He'd be a drama  _ princess _ though

cursed child: yeet

RhodeyRhodes: @dont do this to me drama princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cats  
> \+ brief job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know anything about cats

[#general]

Well, this is my life now: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/466992689808801806/511227405940162560/tumblr_messaging_pgqz147a4z1v0d8q1_1280.png

cursed child: ALDHALSJA IT BE LIKE THAT

potts and pans: oHmYgOSH

potts and pans: Actually tho

potts and pans:  _ wait Peter _

potts and pans: let me check the New York laws about job age-

potts and pans: PeTEr you'Re tOO yOuNG tO hAVE a JOB

potts and pans:  _ you're three years too young _

potts and pans: I'm gonna go have a talk wit hTony-

RhodeyRhodes: You and I both know that we can't stop him

cursed child: im 17 now i can hold a job if i want to  _ dabs _

 

[#general]

RhodeyRhodes: @Caw Caw from above Why did I just find an open vent with a box of cereal sitting in it

Caw Caw from above: Hehehhehehe

RhodeyRhodes: Wait a minute

RhodeyRhodes: THIS IS MY CEREAL

Caw Caw from above: I was hungry ok?

Caw Caw from above: I have food like that stashed everywhere

RhodeyRhodes: BARTON

RhodeyRhodes: MY CEREAL

RhodeyRhodes: YOU STOLE

RhodeyRhodes: MY CEREAL

Caw Caw from above: Well my Food calls me byeeee

RhodeyRhodes: @cursed child You’re about to be down one uncle figure

Caw Caw from above:  _ hey peter you want some poptarts from thor _

Caw Caw from above:  _ I have some stashed from the last time he accidentally fried my phone with lightning _

Caw Caw from above: He didnt even notice that he did that >:[

RhodeyRhodes: Then Perish

cursed child: im sorry i was taking care of some kittens mr stark doesnt knoe i have yet

RhodeyRhodes: You what

cursed child: we cant keep them but,,,

cursed child: so there were these baby kittens on the fire escape

RhodeyRhodes: I'm going to the pet store

cursed child: and since may is allergic i had to get them aeay

cursed child: aaaaaa

RhodeyRhodes: I love animals, so they can stay at the Tower

cursed child: aaaaa thank you uncle dad

RhodeyRhodes: You're welcome kiddo

Caw Caw from above: I heard kittens

Caw Caw from above: I heard kittens   
Peter where, i wanna meet theeeem

cursed child: the kittens are in my room right now!! mr stark hasnt left his lab so he doesnt know

cursed child: he should probably do that

RhodeyRhodes: @dont do this to me Leave your lab for o n c e

cursed child: id @ him but then hed see im hiding kittens in his tower- UNCLE DAD ASKFHAK

RhodeyRhodes: Not necessarily hiding them since I bought you stuff for them

cursed child: tru

dont do this to me: What kittens

dont do this to me: I wanna see

dont do this to me: Im coming for dem kittens

RhodeyRhodes: Told you he wouldn't be mad

cursed child: MR STARK ASLFHAKA

dont do this to me: Theyre fucking adorae

dont do this to me: *adorable

RhodeyRhodes: I'm willing to help Peter with whatever he needs regarding the kittens, since he has school

dont do this to me: If anyone hurt those kittens i would shoot everyone in the room except peter and then myself

cursed child: no!!!

RhodeyRhodes: T o n y

cursed child: dont shoot anyone or yourself!!!

dont do this to me: Then nobody better hurt those kittens

Mama Spider: Kittens?

RhodeyRhodes: Peter rescued some kittens

Mama Spider: Hmm

Mama Spider: I'll take one

Mama Spider: If that's okay

cursed child: yall can come pet them!!

RhodeyRhodes: I'm on my way in

cursed child: yeah mom you can have one!!

Mama Spider: What kind of cat are they?

cursed child: smol cats of various colors

Mama Spider: Does any of them have different or unusual eyes?

cursed child: yeah!! theres a tiny black one with one blue and one green eye

Mama Spider: I'd like to take that one

cursed child: i think shell like you!!

cursed child: i havent named them yet so like if you want to name her

dont do this to me: I claim this one

dont do this to me:  [ https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/466992689808801806/514972449155317760/IMG_20181121_111826.jpg ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/466992689808801806/514972449155317760/IMG_20181121_111826.jpg)

dont do this to me: I like her and she is mine now

cursed child: yay!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea what goes on in this chap
> 
> thanks to buckyeet from the discord for copying this for me
> 
> formattinf mifht be different idk i like read the first four lines and decided that was good enough
> 
> names are a fuckfest so  
> no longer feeling stabby: loki  
> stitchy is awake: literally everyones new adopted son  
> i cant see: matt murdock  
> and bUCKY: buckyeet  
> spidermomma: nat probs  
> clnt brtn or whatever: clint i think

[#general] 5:10 AM

  
  


no longer feeling stabby: Loki ISS half awake

                                       That’s a mood matt

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: nuu

 

i cant see: B)

 

i cant see pinned a message to this channel.

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: dad they’dd honNamakenddolleep

 

i cant see: Shh.

 

spidermomma: Sleep now

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: domt wsnna

                            Domt make me

 

spidermomma: Loki, make the kid sleep

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: pleasre

 

spidermomma: @no longer feeling stabby

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: dadloki pls

 

i cant see has changed their name to I would like the knife

 

I would like the knife: Perish.

 

No longer feeling stabby: I just wokke up

                                        But

                                        How much sleep have you gotten in the last 24 hours, child

 

I would like the knife: Not enough.

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: i got 4 jord toxsy

                            Im foime

 

I would like the knife: Hmm.

no longer feeling stabby: Your atrocious spelling says otherwise

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: dad bls donmt make meee

                            notbmy fYlt i cant spell

 

no longer feeling stabby has changed their name to somewhat awake

 

somewhat awake: It is, tho

 

I would like the knife: B)

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: dont wamma sleep

 

I would like the knife: Sleep.

 

spidermomma: Make him sleep or I will

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: prlasr dont make me

 

I would like the knife: Exiting the vent to your room now.

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: dad shes gonna make me dleep

 

I would like the knife: Drugs time

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: nooo

 

spidermomma: I’m already there Matt

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: pooease domy

 

I would like the knife: Oh hey.

 

stitVhy is Akwaje: dad please don’t let yhsm

                            pls

 

somewhat awake: I will knock you out if you touch my child romanov

 

spidermomma: Try me

 

I would like the knife: Sorry, a bit tired. Didn’t notice you.

 

stitVhy is Akwaje’s name has been changed to stitchy needs sleep.

somewhat awake: Already have. Back when the Avengers formed

                             With Barton

 

spidermomma: It’s not like I’d try to harm the kid

 

I would like the knife: Your heart rate is really quiet.

 

stitchy needs sleep: dad pleDse i dnt wanns be knocked oit

 

somewhat awake: Apologies for that

 

spidermomma: I’d just pressure point

 

somewhat awake: Stitchy   
                             You need sleep

 

stitchy needs sleep: dsd ples

                                m oaky

                                okau

 

I would like the knife: Sleep.

 

somewhat awake: Good

 

stitchy needs sleep: Donr wamna

 

spidermomma: Use magic or something or I’ll pressure point the kid and make him into a blanket burrito and take blackmail photos 

 

I would like the knife: Then Nat will do her thing.

 

stitchy needs sleep: sont wanna be a burrito

 

spidermomma: Then sleep

 

somewhat awake: I’m at your door child. Sleeeeep

 

I would like the knife: Sleep, all this could be avoided.

 

stitchy needs sleep: :(( doMt wanna

 

somewhat awake: Or I will knock you out

 

somewhat awake has changed I would like the knife’s name to Got the knife.

 

somewhat awake: Stitchy

                             Sleep

 

spidermomma: What type

                        Serrated? Or double edged?

 

stitchy needs sleep: buckyee save me

 

Got the knife: Good old fashioned clean cutter.

 

aND BUCKY: kiiddd

                     sleeeeeeeepppppp

 

stitchy needs sleep: heck

                               domt wanna

 

aND BUCKY: tooo bad

                     you got loki up

                     and then i w oke upp

  
  


5:41 AM

 

somewhat awake has changed their name to has many knives

 

Got the knife has changed their name to Just wanted the knife okay

 

Clnt Brdn, Mstr f vnt 143 has changed their name to Im cold, cuddles pwease

 

spidermomma: I’ve hidden emergency medical stuff throughout and around the compound

 

aND BUCKY: thosse are actualyt mostly fir when Nat gest reckless and CLinnt wants to hel hus best frienddd

Causee he thinks

Well I cant really do much else

But I can help my friend

So I wll

 

spidermomma: How am I reckless?

aND BUCKY: Youu do it aalot

                     Like when IO was shooting you

                     You coould hae zigged

                     but you didnt

 

aND BUCKY: Increasign the likelihood of you getting shot

                     and thenn

                     do you eveen know

                     exactlty how mucch you

                     Get hurt and ddont evenm ferel it

 

aND BUCKY: Clinnt goes

                     and he heals it all overnight after missions and you dont  feel a thng

                     And you waale up feeling fin

 

spidermomma: Fine, I get hurt a lot. Why else would I have painkillers in stroop waffles. Also Clint don’t think about pain

It makes it worse

 

aND BUCKY: abdd go and bee reckless on morer missions

 

Just wanted the knife okay: Barnes, are you intoxicated?

 

has many knives: Barnes is not

                            Just

                            Sleepy

 

Just wanted the knife okay: Hm.

 

aND BUCKY: Lookii iss warrrmmmm

_ The cuddles intensify _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cannot vouch for the sobriety of anyone during the crearion of this chapter
> 
> if you want context for why the server is now called catholic hell and has a blurry picture of me with "new year new fuckin me" as the icon go bacj like however many chapters because i have no energy to go baxk and get the invite


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fucking dead broskis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ACTUALLY FUCK THIS CHAPTER, HONESTLY
> 
> IT CRASHED GOOGLE DOCS EVERY TIME I OPENED IT
> 
> FORMATTING DIDNT COPY AT ALL
> 
> IT TOOK. HOURS AND HTML FORMATTING. ON A PHONE. TO MAKE THIS LOOK HALFWAY DECENT. AND TO THINK AT FIRST I WAS NAIVE ENOUGH TO THINK I WOULD EVEN CONSIDER FIXING SOME OF THE OTHER FORMATTTING THAT WOULDNT COPY WITH CSS
> 
> AND THEN. WHEN I FINALLY FIXED IT. I LEARNED EVERY TIME I SAVE IT ADDED A NBSP IN BETWEEN BLOCKQUOTES. THAT I ENDED UP REMOVIBG BECAYSE IM JUST SO TIRED
> 
> I CANT EVEN COPY PASTE THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE IT HAS INLINE IMAGES INSTEAD OF LINKS, IS STRAIGHT UP TOO LONG, AND JUST.
> 
> I JUST WANT TO CRY
> 
> AND HONESTLY? POOR BUCKYEE. THEY FUCKING. MADE. A 100+ PAGE GOOGLE DOC. I FEEL BAD FOR THEM. BUT ALSO. FUCK THIS CHAPTER.
> 
> (16 march) so its like ten days after the last time i touched this fucking chapter and ive just decided to split it into like... 4 chaps probably possibly
> 
> ANYWAY NICKS FOR THIS CHAPTER
> 
> *silence noises* - natasha  
> *magic noises* - bucky  
> *magic doctor noises* - dr strange  
> hello my nme is PANIC - stitchy, everyones son and bean  
> stop running - tony  
> *worried noises* - loki  
> gay? shit,,, - peter  
> kill me already - matt

[#general] Saturday, March 2nd, 3:44 PM

 

***magic noises***

Fucj

Fucj

Fjdns

Fcucj

Shsit

Hheellssdgodfuckindsannits

Sstop

Plessde

Ssfop

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

(shook eyes emoji)

hey you alright

 

***magic noises***

@*silence noises*

SNED HLEP

 

***silence noises***

What?

 

***magic noises***

Heelp

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

whats wromg

 

***magic noises***

Olsease

 

***silence noises***

Why?

 

***magic noises***

Its

Fucj

 

***silence noises***

What’s happening

 

***magic noises***

Words

Russian

Zemo

Fickci

Astop

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

wh

 

***magic noises***

Please

 

***silence noises***

Oh no

I’m on the way

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

what hapsnend

 

***silence noises***

You need to prepare the silence room

Kid

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

will do

 

***silence noises***

Make sure the heat is on

Doesn’t matter

 

***magic doctor noises***

Please hurry

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok

 

***silence noises***

Strange fill me in

 

***magic doctor noises***

He's not doing well, and apparently despite Anthony's best efforts some lingering effect of the programming is there

 

***silence noises***

You need to be careful

 

***magic doctor noises***

Some ass from HYDRA knew his words.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

silence room is ready

 

***silence noises***

No offense but you could be in danger

 

***magic doctor noises***

We were just out getting coffee.

 

***silence noises***

It’s not his fault

Where

My trackers are acting up

 

***magic doctor noises***

I know, he knows that too, but it doesn't make it any easier to hold him back. Starbucks, hardly a few blocks from the Tower.

 

***magic noises***

Ssdroy

 

***magic doctor noises***

It's not your fault, Bucky.

 

***silence noises***

Keep him calm as long as possible

You will get seriously hurt if he lashes out, even with magic

 

***magic doctor noises***

You are not to blame for this. You can't control your actions right now.

 

***magic noises***

Ssdorty

 

***silence noises***

I’m a block away

Keep calm Bucky

 

***magic doctor noises***

I'm doing my best.

 

***magic noises***

Trryin

 

***silence noises***

You’re strong

You got this

Stitchy stay in your room now

 

***magic doctor noises***

I'm physically holding him back. Please hurry.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

already in my room

 

***silence noises***

Physically

What

Shit

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

What's going on?

 

***magic noises***

STEEB

 

***silence noises***

Stay calm

No yelling

 

***magic doctor noises***

Yes, physically.

 

***silence noises***

I’m here

I got him

 

***magic doctor noises***

Thank the Gods.

 

***silence noises***

Can you make a portal

 

***magic doctor noises***

Yes.

 

***silence noises***

To the tower?

Or outside

 

***magic doctor noises***

What room.

 

***silence noises***

The silence room

 

***magic doctor noises***

Already done.

 

***magic noises***

Trhanks

 

***silence noises***

Cmon Bucky

 

***magic noises***

Ssmory

 

***silence noises***

Don’t apologize

 

***magic noises***

M fighhtinf

Nott nt chioice

 

***silence noises***

Someone get tony

 

***magic noises***

No

 

***silence noises***

And fast

 

***magic noises***

No

Hes

Hes the

Hess rhhe tearget

 

***silence noises***

Oh shit

 

***magic noises***

He wass thenlaast one

 

***silence noises***

Friday locked down the tower

 

***magic noises***

I reefysed

HYDRA difnt like tht

 

***silence noises***

It’s fine

We’ll keep you guys safe

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Hey, I got Tony. I'll keep an eye on him, make sure he stays safe.

 

***silence noises***

Good

 

***worried noises***

What's going on?

 

***silence noises***

Maybe someone should contact T’challa

 

***magic noises***

Nno

Ddont

 

***silence noises***

Okay

Okay

 

***magic noises***

Shuri

Shuri

Get

Her

 

***silence noises***

Okay

 

**stop running**

Its gonna be okay

 

***silence noises***

@*teenager noises*

Tony no

 

***worried noises***

What's going on?

 

***silence noises***

Leave now

 

***magic noises***

TONY

NO

 

**stop running**

Okay

 

***magic noises***

FFICK

 

**stop running**

Bye

 

***silence noises***

SHIT

 

***magic noises***

Tthamnj

 

***silence noises***

Stay calm it’s fine

 

***worried noises***

Natasha, what's wrong?

 

***silence noises***

Trigger words

Buckys

 

***worried noises***

What sort?

 

***silence noises***

The bad ones

 

***magic noises***

Lokiii

No

I'll hurrt yiu

 

***silence noises***

If worst comes to worst I may possibly be the only one other than Steve with the capabilities to physically restrain him

You can’t come here

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

mr barnes?

 

***magic noises***

Yyes

Nko

Peeter

He can stop me

 

***silence noises***

Peter come here

Bring  web shooters as backup, but I don’t think you’ll need them

 

***worried noises***

I'm coming with him.

 

***silence noises***

No

Loki you can’t

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

mr barnes, i know it doesnt seem like it right now, but things will be okay

 

***worried noises***

Yes.

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

i believe in you

is it okay if i come give you a hug?

 

***magic noises***

Jno

 

***silence noises***

Loki please stay reasonable

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

okay

is it okay if i just sit by you and talk

 

***silence noises***

I’m not risking anyone harm. It’s not his fault, but hydras and they’re out for blood

 

***magic noises***

Yyes

 

***silence noises***

Peter is okay because hydra doesn’t know him

 

***worried noises***

I'm here.

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

okay

 

***worried noises***

He's my fiance, Natasha.

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

im here mr barnes

 

***silence noises***

I know he is Loki

You don’t want him to lash out because he’d blame himself

Let Peter help

 

***magic doctor noises***

He's got one hell of an arm, I'll say that.

I'm lucky the Sanctum has stayed as hidden as it has in the past years, otherwise he would have attacked me.

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

did i ever tell you about the time i found puppies and mr stark started his own animal shelter anonymously

 

***worried noises***

I'm a god, Bucky can't hurt me if he tried.

 

***silence noises***

Yes he can Loki

You know he can

You don’t get to think with any sort of ego right now

This isn’t a place to say that stuff without actually looking at scenarios

 

***worried noises***

There are only two beings in the universe that have broken my skin, Natasha, and I don't see the Hulk anywhere near here.

 

***silence noises***

Loki please think

He might not hurt you, but he could actually hurt himself or someone

 

***worried noises***

I am thinking, and what I am thinking is that I have mentally based powers that may be of use in the current situation.

 

**gay?? shit,,,**

perhaps we should leave the decision up to mr barnes, seeing as, yknow, he the one whos scared right now

 

***silence noises***

Ask him yourself

I agree Peter

 

***magic noises***

Oif

Loki thinks

Thhta he xsan help

Thrhen llet him

 

***worried noises***

Thank you, James.

Bucky, I'm going to need you to hold still as much as you can.

 

***magic noises***

I cavm do tha hah

 

***silence noises***

I need to grab something

Will you be okay with Peter and Loki for a second

 

***magic noises***

Yye

S

 

***silence noises***

Okay

 

***worried noises***

If I'm not incorrect, the center of your problems is the fact that you still remember the times when you first were turned into the Winter Soldier.

I'm going to put a complete emotional block on those memories if that's alright.

 

***magic noises***

Plleas

 

***silence noises***

I’m back

 

***magic doctor noises***

I would suggest knocking him out first, otherwise it would be much harder.

 

***magic noises***

Pleas

Just

Psl

 

***worried noises***

He's out.

Unfortunately, the only way to truly know if it worked is by testing it when he wakes up.

 

***silence noises***

Loki, I want you to be careful when he wakes up

Please

I know how dangerous the soldier is, and if this makes it worse I’m not risking it

I have safeguards set up

 

***worried noises***

He'll only be unconscious for half an hour.

 

***silence noises***

Peter can’t be in here when he wakes

I’m not risking children

 

***worried noises***

Stephen.

 

***magic doctor noises***

Yes?

 

***worried noises***

Have you eaten today?

 

***magic doctor noises***

No, that's what Bucky had taken me out to do.

 

***worried noises***

Eat.

I haven't either. I'll join you.

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha, what do you mean by safeguards.

@*silence noises*

 

***silence noises***

Precautions

Nothing dangerous

Mostly for the kids

He can’t access their rooms currently

I moved Peter

 

***magic doctor noises***

You know that won't stop him if he was really trying to harm them.

 

***silence noises***

Yes

But it’s only the first line of defense

Plus i made sure tony is not in the vicinity

I’m also hunting down the bastard who did this

 

***magic doctor noises***

I've explored the timelines extensively. I know you also have your own set of words that can trigger something like the Winter Soldier. Are you the only one who knows your words?

 

***silence noises***

No

One other person does

 

***magic doctor noises***

Who else does?

***silence noises***

Bucky

That’s why I set up precautions

 

***magic doctor noises***

And in turn you know his words.

 

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***magic doctor noises***

Did the two of you know each other before HYDRA?

 

***silence noises***

No

He trained me

 

***magic doctor noises***

Did you ever encounter each other while Bucky was just the Soldier?

Oh.

 

***silence noises***

That’s why he knows

Soldier can’t access the words

Only Bucky

There’s a  way to block certain things from being read in either state

 

***magic doctor noises***

Wait. Just Bucky? As in Bucky himself trained you?

 

***silence noises***

Yes

Technically he was both soldier and Bucky

But yes

Why so surprised?

 

***magic doctor noises***

This is interesting, and certainly clears up questions I've had about how you two know each other so well.

 

***silence noises***

Any other questions?

You seem to have some

 

***magic doctor noises***

Only one.

 

***silence noises***

Yes?

 

***magic doctor noises***

Where and when were you actually born?

 

***silence noises***

I can’t say

I am much older than I look

I know I was born in Stalingrad, Russia

It’s a little fuzzy but that’s expected

 

***magic doctor noises***

It's odd, but I've been searching there, going around years of life and death in Stalingrad, and I haven't been able to find you.

It's almost as though you've been hidden from Time.

 

***silence noises***

Odd

I think I remember when I was born

Around the 30’s

It’s hard to remember

Like I shouldn’t

 

***magic doctor noises***

It's most likely that you shouldn't be able to at all, so that when people ask when you were born after you've been caught, you are able to truthfully answer "I don't know." That way, they wouldn't have any way to trace your origins.

 

***worried noises***

James is waking up.

 

***magic noises***

Hhey

Hwqasup

My fickin head

 

***worried noises***

James.

 

***magic noises***

Wqqsup

 

***worried noises***

The only way to know if the Winter Soldier has truly been deactivated, permanently, is if it's tested.

If you're alright with it, Natasha is going to attempt to trigger the Winter Soldier by reciting your words.

 

***magic noises***

I

Uh

I guess

 

***silence noises***

You sure?

 

***magic noises***

If shes the one who does it then the soldier will automatically recognise her, and listen to her command alone

So

Yeah, O gues

 

***silence noises***

I’m shutting off my phone

If it goes bad you’ll know

 

***magic noises***

Better to do it here rather than on the battlefield

 

***silence noises***

Ready?

 

***magic noises***

I guess

 

***worried noises***

Should I leave the room?

 

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***worried noises***

Alright.

 

***silence noises***

We can’t risk anyone else knowing the words

I apologize

 

***worried noises***

It's alright.

I suppose I'll go out of range for my hearing then too.

 

***silence noises***

Please

Bucky I apologize

Phone is going off now

 

***magic noises***

K

Fuck

Fuc

 

***silence noises***

It’s okay

You’re okay

Shhh

Soldier is gone

It’s alright

@*worried noises* @*magic doctor noises* he needs you

 

***worried noises***

Can I come back?

 

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***worried noises***

Good.

The Soldier is gone? It worked?

 

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***magic doctor noises***

On my way.

 

***silence noises***

Good

I’m glad it worked

 

***magic doctor noises***

So are we.

 

***silence noises***

Do me a favor

 

***magic doctor noises***

Yes?

 

***silence noises***

If I fail at bringing the bastard who set this up down, you tear the guy to pieces

 

 ***magic doctor noises***  

Absolutely.

 

 ***worried noises***  

With pleasure.

 

 ***silence noises** *****  

Good

I have some hunting to do

Any weapons you guys have that would be useful? Or anything that might be useful

 

***worried noises***

I hope you have fun.

If you'd like I can supply you with knives and blades.

As well as any sort of poison you may desire.

 

 ***silence noises***  

Poison sounds great

Along with a knife

 

***worried noises***

Here.

 

 ***silence noises***  

I just have to find another jumpsuit because the last one may be riddled with bullet holes

Ya know

 

 ***magic doctor noises***  

I'll mend it if you'd like.

 

 ***shmaptain shmerica noises***  

I am also willing.

 

***silence noises***

Stitchy?

@hsllo my nme is PANIC

I’m sorry if I freaked you out earlier

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

Eh

jts fime

 

 ***silence noises***  

Not really

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

B?

huh

 

***silence noises***

I feel bad for scaring you

Same to Peter

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

m ok

 

***silence noises***

You want snugs

Before I leave on a mission

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

sure

 

***silence noises***

Where are you?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

roof

 

 ***silence noises***  

Okay

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

i have blankets

and coat

 

 ***silence noises***  

Good

I have movies

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok

 

 ***silence noises***  

Peter

@gay?? shit,,, join us

 

 **gay?? shit,,,**  

ok

 

 ***silence noises***  

Cool

I brought pies as well

What movie you wanna watch?

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

lilo and stitch

 

 ***silence noises***  

Okay

 

 ***magic noises***  

Hey stitchy

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hi

whats up?

 

 ***magic noises***  

Sorry I scared u

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

actually i dont accept unnecessary apologies so,, DEN I E D

 

 ***magic noises***  

That's fair

@gay?? shit,,,

Sorry for scaring u

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

he also doesnt accept unnecessary apologies.

_right peber_

 

 **gay?? shit,,,**  

its okay i was happy to hang out with you for a lityle bit!! idk if i helped but i hope i didnt at least make it worse

sometimes you gotta accept the apology even if its unneccesary because people need closure, and this kinda feels like one of those times so mr barnes i accept your apology though it was unneccesary

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

thats fair

 

 ***magic noises***  

Understandable, have a nice day

 

 **gay?? shit,,,**  

_dabs_

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i accpet your apology if you need closure but it really is not necessary

 

 ***magic noises***  

How did I get such an awesome family

:)

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

you told me that youve always been my father and i just accepted it

thats how

 

 ***magic noises***  

That's fair

 

 **gay?? shit,,,**  

you seemed like a nice person so i accepted that this is my life now

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

this is how you became my family

 

 ***magic noises***  

Wait wtf

Oh

Yeah

 

 ***silence noises***  

Awwwww

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

that was from when buckyee was bein MEAN to me B((

 

***silence noises***

Lol

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')
> 
> i hatw rhis  
> it wont evem load on chrome for me  
> im gonna hust cry now goodbyw
> 
> (16 march) so uhh, part 1/however many this hellish fucker turns into i guess


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rip stitchy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow editing is so much less anger/panic-inducing when you dont have to format, like, 1500 messages at the same time
> 
> names are the same as last time since its the same chapter lol
> 
> uhh kill me already is matt murdock tho since he kinda wasnt in the last part that i remember o o p s

**[#abengers-and-friends-private]**

 

***silence noises***

Hey guys?

I’m going to delete this so Peter doesn’t see

But I’m letting you know what I’m planning is a hell of a risk

@*magic doctor noises* @*worried noises* @*magic noises*

 

 ***magic noises***  

Steph and Loki r out cold rn

Wassup

 

 ***silence noises***  

I need you to promise me that you’ll keep everyone safe

 

 ***magic noises***  

Absolutely.

 

 ***silence noises***  

This might as well be a suicide mission

I’m going to admit that

He might have my words

If worst comes to worst, you know what to do

Okay?

 

 ***magic noises***  

Yeah.

Yeah, I.

Okay

 

 ***silence noises***  

Good

Let Stephen and Loki know

They promised if I failed they’d tear the guy to pieces for me

 

***magic noises***

Okay.

 

**[#general]**

 

 ***magic noises***  

I wouldnt let him bind because he'd hurt his ribs

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

my ribs were FINE

 

 ***silence noises***  

Bad child

 

 ***magic noises***  

Sure, jan

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i was finE!!

 

***magic noises***

Not really

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

yes really

 

 ***magic noises***  

Wasnt that a little after the ambulance was called for u

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

theres neber been an ambulance called for me

all that happened was breathing hurt a LITTLE bit

and then starkster showed up and brought me to the medbay

 

 ***magic noises***  

Breathing isnt supposed to hurt at all

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

meh

actually speaking of binding,, ive been doing good!!

 

 ***magic noises***  

Good

Good

Ur new binder holding up well?

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

yep!

since i started binding later than normal today, i get to bind late and its NICE

 

 ***magic noises***  

(ok hand emoji)

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hehehe

 

 ***magic noises***  

I will stab u myself

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

bold of you to assume i dont WANT to be stabbed

 

 ***silence noises***  

Kinky kid

 

 ***magic noises***  

Jesus Nat

 

 **gay?? shit,,,**  

akfhakfbajsba

oh shit

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i dont need this shit from you MO M

 

***silence noises***

Hahaha

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

esp not when m sick :(((

 

 ***silence noises***  

Soup

 

 **hsllo my nm** **e is PANIC**  

no m fine just

tired

 

 ***silence noises***  

Medicine?

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

and throat sucks pp rn

 

 ***silence noises***  

Yea

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i took some

 

 ***silence noises***  

Tea

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

ew no

 

 ***silence noises***  

Cough drops

The good kind

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

but yeah have you HEARD my voice today? hella bad

 

 ***magic noises***  

Have u heard my voice ever?

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

yes its very good

ill fight you

 

 ***magic noises***  

Nah

U'd lose

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i would lose

 

 ***silence noises***  

True

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i have BaCKUP

 

 ***silence noises***  

No

You have no backup

 

 ***magic noises***  

U rlly dont

 

 **hsllo my nme i** **s PANIC**  

i do too

 

 ***silence noises***  

You get to be my backup as I’ll fight on your behalf

 

 ***magic noises***  

Loki and Steph are asleep

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

@*worried noises* dad youd b my backup right

u gh

ok fight for me mom

bless

 

 ***magic noises***  

Nat I trained u

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

fuck

 

 ***magic noises***  

U would lose too

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

s h it

 

 ***silence noises***  

Actually I wouldn’t

We’d be evenly matched most likely

But I do have the widow bites

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i said a fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck i said a fuck fuck fuckity fcuk fuck

 

 ***magic noises***  

Not with what Loki n Steph have been teaching me

 

 ***silence noises***  

Why

Ha

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

domt let lokidad see tha

t

BLS

 

 ***magic noises***  

Just for that I'm telling him

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

fuck

wait

 

 ***silence noises***  

I’ll fight you here and now Bucky

 

 ***magic noises***  

No, bc I'm cuddling my boyfriend and fiance

 

 ***silence noises***  

Ugh

 

 ***magic noises***  

And my husband is here too

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

bcukyee youre not gon tell lokidad right

 

 ***magic noises***  

I will

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

ls no

 

 ***magic noises***  

Yes

 

 ***worried noises***  

What

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

ohno

 

 ***worried noises***  

Why was I. Woken.

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

no reason!!

go back to bed dad

 

 _ ***worried noises* pinned a message to this channel.**_  

 

 ***worried noises***  

What is this.

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

ah

so you saw

well you see dad

its a song

 

 ***worried noises***  

It's something called scrolling up.

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

i wrote it

do you like my music

aLSo

you said i could swear!!

 

 ***silence noises***  

Too much cussing

Oh no

Buckyee can we fight now

 

 ***worried noises***  

What the FUCK is up Stitchy! no what did you say WHAT THE FUCK DUDE STEP THE FUCK UP STITCHY

 

 ***magic noises***  

Ohno

Hes using vines

Sttitchy

 

 ***silence noises***  

Run

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

does this mean m not in trouble

 

 ***magic noises***  

Run

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

why run

whats happeneing

what

 

 ***silence noises***  

Now

 

 ***magic noises***  

HES PISSED INTO GEN Z MODE

 

 ***silence noises***  

Go

GO

 

 ***magic noises***  

FUCJIN RUN

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

how bad is pissed into gen z mode??

 

 ***magic noises***  

ITS ONLY HAPPENED ONCE

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

also m runnimg

HOW BAD BUCKYEE

 

 ***magic noises***  

NOT EVEN THOR HAS MANAGED THIS

THATS HOW

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

OH N O

shit

ohg

i suCK at not swearing

whts he gon do tho??

 

 ***silence noises***  

Keep running

 

 ***magic noises***  

It was this misogynistic sexist ass

Loki was in her female form

He thought she was hot

He asked who she was

She said: Loki Thorbrottir, Prince of Asgard

He said: But u look like a girl how can u be a prince

She said: well I thought you looked like a decent human being and in three seconds u proved me wrong

 

 ***silence noises***  

Burn

 

 **hsllo my nme is PANIC**  

burn but

whats dad gonna do

 

 ***magic noises***  

And well

He said: no wonder ur down here instead of Asgard ur probably better off in the kitchen with that attitude

So uh

He didnt survive

Lokii

 

**[#for-when-loki-chases-stitchy]**

 

 ***worried noises***  

In truth im not doing anything

I'm still cuddling Bucky.

 

 ***silence noises***  

I assumed

Bucky would have reacted if you stopped cuddling

Loki

Did you see the messages I put up in the other channel?

 

 ***worried noises***  

Yes.

Also, I am now chasing Stitchy.

 

 ***silence noises***  

Good

On the first thing

I got cctv footage of the guy

I’m leaving soon

He’s not far actually, he’s in New Jersey

 

 ***worried noises***  

Give him absolute hell.

 

 ***magic noises***  

It's a trap isnt ot

@*silence noises* si

Is it a trap

 

 ***silence noises***  

Not this time

 

 **kill me already**  

What.

 

 ***silence noises***  

I want to make the kid happy

 

 ***worried noises***  

Well, he's evaded me so far.

 

 **kill me already**  

Hm.

 

 ***silence noises***  

Hehehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmaybe next part will be the last part of this "chapter"? idfk im tired and also want to snuggle my boymf riend


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoops haha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fcukinmmm, almost there

**[#general]**

  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
is dad gonna kill me   
  


***magic noises***   
Stop chasing him   
I want my pillow   
Oh probably worse

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
WHATS DAD GONNA DO   
@*worried noises* DAD PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOJRE GONNA DO

 

***magic noises***   
Most likely properly make u take care of urself and give u a strict routine u have to follow, as well as make u physically incapable of cursing

  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
routine?? what kin d   
  


***magic noises***   
The proper self-care kind

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
cmon why

 

***magic noises***

U better not slow down

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m not!

  
***magic noises***

Oh they speeding up   
Yijes

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

heLP

 

***silence noises***

Secret passage on your right

 

***worried noises***   
Never.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok   
wait mom is this a trap

 

***silence noises***

No   
I’m helping

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok

 

***silence noises***

Hit the wall three times quickly

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok

 

***silence noises***

Then stop the tile under you   
Go into the passage   
Find the tablet in the blankets

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

alright

 

***silence noises** *

And guide yourself

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

will do

 

***worried noises***

Thank you for telling me exactly where he went, Natasha.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ffs

 

**kill me already**

What's going on.

 

***silence noises***

Not anymore

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m in danger

 

***worried noises***

Wait what

 

***silence noises***

Good luck kid

 

***worried noises***

Where did you just go?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

thanks mom   
hehe

 

***worried noises***

Fine.

 

***silence noises***

No problem kiddo

 

***worried noises***

I'm going back to Bucky and Stephen. Don't think you're off the hook though,

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

what a r e you gon do

 

***worried noises***

You had best be living in fear for the next few days.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m always living in fear B)

 

***worried noises***

Of whom

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

yes

 

***silence noises***

Everything

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

mom is Correct

 

***silence noises***

Relatable

 

**kill me already**

God has forsaken us?   
Frank left, thank the lord.

 

***silence noises***

God has forsaken everyone here

 

**kill me already**

Dang.

 

***worried noises***

I have not, in fact, forsaken you.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

youve forsaken me :dabs:

 

**kill me already**

Bold of you to assume you were the God I was speaking of. Pride is a sin.

 

***worried noises***

No I haven't.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

fair

 

***worried noises***

Please, I have no pride. I hate every inch of myself.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dw i love you enough for both of us

 

**kill me already**

Really? Me too.

 

***worried noises***

Oh you hate me too? Thanks.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

shit yall   
yall fuckin SUCK at self love

 

**kill me already**

I meant me, but hey. There's time.

 

***silence noises***

So I have good news and bad news, but the kids don’t have to know that last part   
Adults do   
Anyway

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
(shook eyes emoji)

 

***magic noises***

Tea

 

***silence noises***

I’ve tracked the bastard down   
He’s in Jersey   
Which means I have to leave   
You know the plan right Bucky?   
You know what happens if worst case scenario

 

***magic noises***

Yeah. Yeah I. I know the plan.

 

***silence noises***

Good

 

***worried noises***

Wait, what?   
Bucky.   
What plan?

 

***silence noises***

Ask him in private   
Not here

 

***magic noises***

That plan, Loki.   
You know which one.

 

***worried noises***

Surely you aren't serious about this?!

 

***silence noises***

Someone might have to   
It’s not gonna come down to that hopefully   
I’m gonna head out

 

***worried noises***

Knowing the luck of the Avengers, that's exactly what it's going to come down to!

 

***silence noises***

I have put pies in the fridge   
And if worst case happens, check the paper on my bed   
Hey kiddo?   
Stitchy?   
Check your room real quick for me   
I got you and Peter something

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok

 

***silence noises***

I’m ten minutes from the guys location

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

thanks mom

 

***silence noises***

He’s going to be ripped apart

 

**kill me already**

Cough.

 

***worried noises***

Natasha is going on a suicide mission.

 

***silence noises***

LOKI

 

**kill me already**

Nice and mood.

 

***silence noises***

THE CHILDREN

 

***worried noises***

So nothing new is happening, except for the fact that yes, she might actually die on this one.

 

***silence noises***

NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW

 

**kill me already**

Cool. Have fun.

 

**kill me already**

Where's the kid?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

which kid

 

**kill me already**

You.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

in my room

 

**kill me already**

You're not that quiet.

 

***worried noises***

Stitchy where are you.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

my room!

 

**kill me already**

Where?

 

***worried noises***

He is not the only one whose senses are heightened enough to smell you.   
Where did you go.   
I can and will track you if I must.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

look its not a big deal

 

***worried noises***

Did you hide with Natasha.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

i wanted to hang out w a friend ill b back in a little

 

**kill me already**

Don't make me track you, Stark keeps calling me "Bloodhound".

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

nO

 

***worried noises***

If you did I will drag you away myself.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

i did not!   
m fine

 

***worried noises***   
Then tell me where you are.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
m at my friends apartment

 

**kill me already**   
Who.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
uh   
my friend

 

**kill me already**   
Have a name?

 

***worried noises***   
If this friend is Deadpool I will erase him from existence.

 

***silence noises***   
I’m headed in   
I’m sorry

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
yes she has a name   
fuck

 

**kill me already**   
Her name is Fuck?   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
brb   
gotra uh

 

***magic noises***   
Be careful, Natasha.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
follow her. my friend i mean

 

***magic noises***   
Is your friend perhaps named Natasha.   
It is

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
haha nope

 

**kill me already**   
Hm.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
ofc not   
  
**kill me already**   
What is it?   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
id never do something that dumb   
shit   
  
***worried noises***   
I'm portalling to your location now Stitchy.   
  
**kill me already**   
I've got your trail.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
shit i gotra go   
  
**kill me already**   
See me soon.   
  
***worried noises***   
Tell me if the trail leads to New Jersey.   
  
**kill me already**   
Can do.   
Actually where is that, I can't see.   
  
***worried noises***   
New Jersey is south of New York

.   
**kill me already**   
Where the hell would South be.   
  
***worried noises***   
In terms of an Earth map, down.   
  
**kill me already**   
I know that, but how am I supposed to tell. Can't exactly see a compass.   
  
***worried noises***   
The smell of the ocean will become much closer.   
As well as less smog-filled.   
  
**kill me already**   
My smelling isn't  _ that _ good.

 

***worried noises***   
Then apparently mine is better than yours   
  
**kill me already**   
Eh, I can just ask Friday.

 

***silence noises***   
wrds   
try to take that from my boy   
Buck   
Help   
  
**kill me already**   
What?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
help   
  
***magic noises***   
Fuj   
Nat

 

***silence noises***   
Mind   
  
***magic noises***   
Oksy   
  
**kill me already**   
What is going on now.   
  
***silence noises***   
Me

 

***magic noises***   
Alright   
Im

 

***silence noises***   
Body

 

***magic noises***   
I'm sorry, Nat.

 

***silence noises***   
No

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
i followed mom   
hdlp

 

***silence noises***   
Ngh   
  
***magic doctor noises***   
WELL IM AWAKE NOW **  
** **  
** ***silence noises***   
Plan   
Stick to   
  
***magic doctor noises***   
Stitchy you're at the Tower now.   
  
***magic noises***   
Yes.   
I'm sorry.   
  
***silence noises***   
thank you

  
**kill me already**   
Someone explain please.   
  
***silence noises***   
Hurts   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
what are you goimg to do to mom   
  
***magic noises***   
Is the guy dead?   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
  
***magic noises***   
Yeah, I know it hurts Nat.   
Loki, ur up   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
fuck why csnt i jist hlep   
  
***magic noises***   
You get to tear him to pieces   
  
**kill me already**   
I just got to the Compound, what's going on.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
shss my mom   
  
***magic doctor noises***   
I'm joining him.   
  
***silence noises***   
Srry   
  
***worried noises***   
Absolutely.   
  
***silence noises***   
Cnt help   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
fcuk   
  
***silence noises***   
Target   
  
***magic noises***   
No, if I don't get to be sorry then neither do you.   
  
**kill me already**   
What.   
  
***silence noises***   
Target   
  
***magic noises***   
Who's your body's target.   
  
***silence noises***   
Help   
You   
  
***magic noises***   
Okay.   
  
**kill me already**   
Aw fuck.   
  
***magic noises***   
I can work with that.   
  
**kill me already**   
What.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
fsck   
  
***silence noises***   
Not you   
I   
  
**kill me already**   
She trying to kill you or something?   
  
***magic noises***   
Natasha. I'm not going to kill you.   
  
***silence noises***   
Can hel p   
Target   
Was kid   
  
***magic noises***   
I know that was the plan, but I'm not.   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
fuck   
  
***silence noises***   
Save kid   
Hurts   
Kill   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
m fine   
  
***magic noises***   
Natalia Romanova give me the name of your target. That's an order from your superior.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
she said the target was me   
  
***silence noises***   
Command accepted   
Target is Stitchy E. Murdock   
  
***magic noises***   
NATALIA ROMANOVA STAND DOWN NOW! THAT IS A DIRECT ORDER FROM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES, THE WINTER SOLDIER!   
  
***silence noises***   
Command not accepted   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
whsts goimg on

  
**kill me already**   
Fuck, okay. Kid, I'm going to be with you.   
  
***magic noises***   
Nat.   
  
***silence noises***   
Orders are to eliminate target   
  
***magic noises***   
I'm sorry.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
whats goimg on   
somrome tell me   
  
***silence noises***   
no   
Don’t hurt   
  
**kill me already**   
Don't worry about it. I'm here. We can talk later.   
  
***magic noises***   
Natasha.   
  
***silence noises***   
yEs?   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad whsts gonna happem   
  
***silence noises***   
Hurts   
  
***magic noises***   
Stay still.   
  
***silence noises***   
ngh   
  
***magic noises***   
Even if only for a second   
That's all I'll need   
  
**kill me already**   
Nothing, it'll be fine.   
  
***silence noises***   
Sorry kiddo   
Hurts   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
wshats mom doing   
  
***magic noises***   
Thank you. I'm sorry.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
whsts happenimg   
  
***silence noises***   
evryting   
No   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad whats happeming   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
No   
No   
  
**kill me already**   
I don't know. You'll be okay.   
  
***silence noises***   
New mission   
Protect   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
whsts gomna happem to mom   
  
***magic noises***   
Natalia Romanova, Black Widow, your service with HYDRA and the Red Room has been exemplary.   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
More   
  
***magic noises***   
You have a new Prime Directive now.   
  
***silence noises***   
Kill   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad m scsared   
  
***silence noises***   
Handler   
  
***magic noises***   
No.   
  
**kill me already**   
She'll be okay, she's just a little confused.   
  
***silence noises***   
Mission- Protect   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dsd   
  
***silence noises***   
Kill   
Geoff   
  
***magic noises*** **  
** I am the handler of the Black Widow, and your new Prime Directive is to protect those that Natasha Romanov cares for.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad m scssred   
  
***silence noises***   
Don’t hurt kid   
  
**kill me already**   
Yeah. I know.   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
New Mission   
  
***magic noises***   
Of course not. Natasha loves the kid, she'd never hurt him.   
  
***silence noises***   
Kill Geoff   
  
***magic noises***   
Your mission is to kill Geoff for doing this to Natasha.   
  
***silence noises*** **  
** Disobey direct orders   
Hurts   
Not handler   
  
**kill me already**   
It's alright. These things happen. It's complicated Stitchy. We can talk later.   
  
***silence noises***   
Ngh   
Head   
  
***magic noises***   
Black Widow, what are your orders?   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
thrse thimgs arnet supposdd to happen dad   
  
**kill me already**   
I know.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
thry dont happem to anyeon else

**  
** **kill me already**   
I know.   
  
***silence noises***   
Orders- Not assessed   
Owww   
  
**kill me already**   
They happen to us.   
  
***silence noises***   
I’m   
kill   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
ists not fsir   
  
***silence noises***   
Me   
  
***magic noises***   
The orders of the Black Widow are to kill Geoff, and then stand down.   
  
**kill me already**   
I know.   
  
***silence noises***   
kill   
me   
  
***magic noises***   
No.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
no   
  
***silence noises***   
Need to   
  
***magic noises***   
No.   
  
***silence noises***   
I’m   
  
***magic noises***   
I won't let you.   
  
***silence noises***   
Trying   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad i dsmt lik e this   
  
***magic noises***   
Nat. You're going to hate me for this.   
  
**kill me already** **  
** Romanoff, how does this benefit you?   
  
***magic noises***   
I'm going to reactivate the Black Widow myself.   
  
***silence noises***   
no   
  
**kill me already**   
I know kid. I'm sorry. I'm right here.   
  
***silence noises***   
I fight   
  
**kill me already**   
Romanoff, stand down.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
m sirry dad   
gotta get mom   
  
**kill me already**   
You're scaring a civilian.   
No you're not.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
flyimg isnt that hard right   
  
***magic noises***   
Black Widow.   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
i coul d fly a plane   
  
**kill me already**   
Stitchy, don't make me grab you. I'm right here.   
  
***silence noises***   
Not handler   
  
***magic noises***   
Then who is?   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
mayne youre right there but M N O T   
  
***silence noises***   
Geoff M. Herman   
Handler   
  
***magic noises***   
Not anymore. You've been reassigned to me.   
  
***silence noises***   
Orders denied   
  
***magic noises***   
Geoff betrayed us, and is being dealt with for his transgressions.   
  
***silence noises***   
hElP   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
hey uh   
  
**kill me already**   
I am your superior, and you will listen to what I say, or I will beat you so hard you won't know who's blood is whos. I am superior to your current handler.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad   
  
**kill me already**   
I'm sorry kid.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
thrrs soemone here   
  
***magic noises***   
Matt stand down   
  
**kill me already**   
I know.   
  
***magic noises***   
Natasha.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
theres soneome whos not us here dad   
  
***silence noises***   
Ngh hurts   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad   
  
***magic noises***   
I know you hate it. But you have to give in to the Widow.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad whst do i do   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
  
***magic noises***   
She has programming you don't know about.   
  
***silence noises***   
Not handler   
programming   
I know   
If   
  
**kill me already**   
I know.   
  
***silence noises***   
I give in   
You die   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dsd   
dad hes coming towards me   
  
***silence noises***   
nO   
  
**kill me already**   
I'm coming.   
  
***magic noises***   
Black Widow. Who is your current handler?   
  
***silence noises***   
Not widow   
  
***magic noises***   
Matt, stay away.   
  
***silence noises***   
Kill Geoff   
  
***magic noises***   
You'll make it worse.   
  
***silence noises***   
I will   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad   
  
***silence noises***   
Tear   
Him   
Apart   
  
***magic noises***   
BLACK WIDOW WHO IS YOUR CURRENT HANDLER.   
  
**kill me already**   
I'm not gonna let him hurt the kid. You know I can't.   
  
***silence noises***   
No   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dsd   
dad hes comimg   
m runnimg away   
  
***silence noises***   
New Mission- Protect Stitchy E. Murdock at all costs   
  
**kill me already**   
Fuckfuck fuck who is this guy.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad   
  
***silence noises***   
No matter the consequences   
  
**kill me already**   
Yeah kid?   
  
***magic noises***   
Black Widow.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dsd hes gomna get me   
  
***silence noises***   
Ngh   
Buck   
Not widow   
  
***magic noises***   
Natasha?   
  
***silence noises***   
Already going to tower   
  
**kill me already**   
Keep running, don't look back, I'm a a few yards from him.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
ok   
  
***silence noises***   
Protect all costs   
Mission   
  
***magic noises***   
Last time. I promise. After this your words can't hurt you anymore.   
  
***silence noises***   
Accepted

  
***magic noises***   
Black Widow.   
  
***silence noises***   
Can’t   
Buck   
Tell the kid I’m sorry   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
whst   
why sorru   
  
**kill me already**   
Fukc   
  
***silence noises***   
Intercepted   
Mission protect   
  
***magic noises***   
I have only one word to say to you.   
Забудьте.   
  
**kill me already**   
OH JESUS OW   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
fsck   
dad   
dad did he hurt yuo   
  
***magic noises***   
Забудьте. Черная вдова. Забудьте.   
  
**kill me already**   
Nah nah it's cool it's fine   
  
***silence noises***   
Hostile spotted   
  
**kill me already**   
Oh shif   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dsd m comign back   
  
**kill me already**   
No no kidcsont   
Please   
  
***silence noises***   
Sorry   
Run   
Matt   
  
***magic noises***   
Black Widow   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
dad   
  
**kill me already**   
Kid you have to leave   
  
* **magic noises***   
Do you know the command I planted in you, and the one trigger word attached to it?   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
m riunnimg dad   
m sorry   
  
**kill me already**   
I'll catch up with you soon.   
  
**hsllo my nme is PANIC**   
m srory

 

**kill me already**   
What   
  
***silence noises***   
Hostile intercepted   
  
**kill me already**   
FUck   
  
***silence noises***   
Friendlies- Matthew Murdock   
Enemies- Geoff   
  
***worried noises***   
Natasha Romanov, Black Widow, your previous handler,  Geoff M. Herman, has been dealt with. You now answer solely to James Buchanan Barnes.   
  
***silence noises***   
Hngh   
  
***magic noises***   
Is it Natasha or Widow I'm speaking with?   
  
***silence noises***   
N   
at   
  
***magic noises***   
Nat. I'm sorry.   
  
***silence noises***   
Widows mission- successful   
  
***magic noises***   
I have to hold you down.   
  
***silence noises***   
Injuries sustained- multiple   
Hostiles remaining- none   
Am I to be deactivated?   
  
**kill me already**   
Oh fuck ouch   
  
***magic noises***   
I have been marked as a hostile by the Red Room.   
  
***silence noises***   
Mission override   
  
***magic noises***   
Widow. I have only one word for you. Забудьте.   
Черная вдова. Забудьте.   
  
***silence noises***   
thnks Bucky   
Mm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 3/4 because i fucking R E F U S E to make this any longer than it already is
> 
> also anyone else wanna draw dad matt and son stitchy being fucking adorable bc i do


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoops! ouchie lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> grave dancinf
> 
> stitchy is everyones son

**[#general]**

 

***magic noises***

Nat?

Here, lemme help you up.

 

***silence noises***

No

 

***magic noises***

Why not?

 

**kill me already**

Hey, I think my leg is broken.

 

***silence noises***

I am not a priority

 

***worried noises***

Here, I'll help.

 

***silence noises***

Help the others

 

**kill me already**

Thanks.

Nat, there is noone else.

 

***silence noises***

I-

I don't

 

***magic noises***

We are. Stephen and Loki took care of Geoff, Stephen's on his way to the kid, and Loki's taking care of Matt.

 

***silence noises***

deserve help

 

***magic noises***

Yes, you do.

 

**kill me already**

Too bad.

 

***magic noises***

If I deserved help, then so do you.

 

***silence noises***

Almost killed

 

***magic noises***

So did I

 

***silence noises***

You're stronger

Not me

 

 **kill me al** **ready**

Me too. So?

 

***magic noises***

I killed Tony's parents. I nearly killed Tony himself. I was once ordered to kill you, you know.

 

***silence noises***

Yes

But not a child

Not a child

 

***magic noises***

Tony was a child.

That's when that was.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m fone mom

 

***magic noises***

But I didn't, because the Black Widow stopped the Winter Soldier.

 

 ***silence noises** *

Hngh

Hurts

Too many injuries

 

***magic noises***

So I think that it's about time that Bucky Barnes helps Natasha Romanov.

 

***silence noises***

Heh

 

***magic noises***

Come on.

Let's get you to the medbay.

 

**kill me already**

I didn't even have orders, I just wanted to. Only reason I didn't is cause he almost killed me.

 

***magic noises***

Nat, stay awake here.

Come on, stay awake.

 

***silence noises***

Srry

 

***magic noises***

No. No.

Stay awake, come on!

Shit

LOKI

 

***worried noises***

Yes?

 

***silence noises***

ngh

 

***worried noises***

Oh.

Oh

 

***silence noises***

nt dead

 

***worried noises***

Oh no

 

***silence noises***

almost

 

***worried noises***

Yes but you're about to be!

Get her on the bed, now!

 

***silence noises***

No

 

***magic noises***

Yeah

Here

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

yes

 

***silence noises***

It's not physical

 

***worried noises***

What do you mean?

 

***silence noises***

Mental

Hurts

 

**kill me already**

That's life.

 

***worried noises***

Your physical wounds are still about to kill you!

 

***silence noises***

Oh

 

***worried noises***

I'm healing you.

 

***silence noises***

Internal

bleeding

Is a

Bitch

 

***worried noises***

Do you have any broken bones?

No, no!

 

***silence noises***

Ribs

 

***worried noises***

Don't you dare close your eyes, Natasha!

 

***silence noises***

Three

 

***worried noises***

Don't you dare!

 

***silence noises***

Stay awake

I can

 

***magic noises***

Hey, Yoda, nice to see you

 

***worried noises***

There, the ribs are back into place and healing now.

 

***silence noises***

Flesh wounds

 

***magic doctor noises***

I'm here.

 

***silence noises***

And internal

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha.

 

***silence noises***

Good news

The ankle is fine

 

***magic doctor noises***

Your eyes are drooping.

Keep them open.

 

***silence noises***

Oky

I

Will

 

***magic doctor noises***

Here, I've begun healing her internal bleeding.

 

***silence noises***

Did

 

***magic doctor noises***

Loki, focus on her gashes.

 

***worried noises***

Doing it now.

 

***silence noises***

Did you get him?

 

***magic doctor noises***

Of course.

 

***worried noises***

We both did.

 

***silence noises***

Did he suffer

 

***magic doctor noises***

Absolutely.

 

***worried noises***

He deserved worse.

 

***silence noises***

Heh

Thanks

 

***magic doctor noises***

Any time.

 

***worried noises***

Not a problem.

 

**kill me already**

Christ.

 

***magic doctor noises***

Loki, get that bullet out.

 

***worried noises***

On it.

 

***silence noises***

He- he tried to shoot the kid before the words

Couldn't

 

***magic doctor noises***

Well, then I'm glad you were there.

 

***silence noises***

I am too

Heh

Glad he's okay

 

***worried noises***

Strange, heal the nerve in her spine.

It's been torn.

 

***magic doctor noises***

Of course.

 

***silence noises***

Is that why I feel numb?

 

***worried noises***

Most likely.

 

**kill me already**

Fuck ffuck fuvk

 

***silence noises***

Hngh

Mfineq

 

***worried noises***

It seems the upper portion partially wrapped around your spinal column.

Quit your whining, Matt, I healed you already.

 

***silence noises***

Ngh

Sleepy

 

***magic doctor noises***

Her spine is healed.

 

***silence noises***

Sty wkae

 

***magic noises***

Nat no!

Stay awaje

 

**kill me already**

Hhah yeah sorry i

 

***magic noises***

Please

 

***silence noises***

Matt okay?

 

**kill me already**

I don't whine about pain

 

***magic noises***

Keep asking questions

 

**kill me already**

I'm not in pain

 

***magic noises***

Keep talking Nat, please

 

***silence noises***

Matt

 

***magic noises***

What's wrong, Matt

 

***silence noises***

Good job

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha.

 

**kill me already**

Nothing is the kid okay

 

***magic doctor noises***

Can you move your legs now?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m uh

m fiem

 

***silence noises***

Ngh

 

**kill me already**

Where isthe kid

 

***magic doctor noises***

I noticed you couldn't before.

 

***silence noises***

Oh

 

***magic doctor noises***

Stitchy is in his room.

 

**kill me already**

Stitchy where are you are you safe

 

***silence noises***

Pain

 

***magic doctor noises***

Likely already making his way up.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m fike

 

***silence noises***

But ys

 

***magic doctor noises***

But can you.

Good.

 

***silence noises***

Can

 

**kill me already**

Okayokaygood

 

***silence noises***

Matt

Calm

 

***worried noises***

The gash across her wrist isn't healing properly.

 

***worried noises***

Stephen

 

***silence noises***

Go to kid

Have blankets

 

***magic doctor noises***

Poison.

 

***silence noises***

Watch movie

 

***magic doctor noises***

There was poison in the blade he cut her wrist with.

 

***worried noises***

Then how is she not actively dying?!

 

***silence noises***

Leg

Also

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hsha m fine

 

***magic noises***

She has an immunity to most poisons

 

***silence noises***

Super serum

 

**kill me already**

Ffuck my head is ringing I can't see ivcantseeits dark

 

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***magic noises***

So do I

 

***silence noises***

Buck

Help

Matt

 

***magic noises***

Yeah?

K

 

***silence noises***

Calm

 

***magic noises***

Keep talking though, Nat

 

**kill me already**

I can't see

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hsy MOOD

 

***magic noises***

Matt, what do you mean.

You're blind.

 

***silence noises***

Blind

Hehe

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

whem he says camt see

his semses FUCKEd

 

**kill me already**

BARNES I CANG SEE THE FIRE

 

***worried noises***

Here, I've conjured an antidote for this one.

 

***silence noises***

Bad

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

he csnt hear as good or semse stuff

 

***silence noises***

Matt

Need help

 

***magic noises***

Matt

 

***silence noises***

Comfort

 

**kill me already**

It's all fuvking dark I can't see

 

***magic noises***

I'm snapping next to your ear.

 

***silence noises***

I can comfort

 

***magic noises***

Do you hear it?

Nat donf

 

***silence noises***

Let me help

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dsds

panciked

 

**kill me already**

Stop stop its echoing wrong

 

***worried noises***

Natasha if you move I will sedate you into the ground

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hr doemst like Tocuh

 

***magic noises***

Okay.

 

***silence noises***

Can't sleep might die

 

***magic noises***

Can you smell me still?

 

***silence noises***

No sedate

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

and whem he loses semses it gets Bad

 

***worried noises***

Sedation does not technically mean sleep.

Stephen.

 

***silence noises***

Same effect

 

***worried noises***

Her leg

 

***magic doctor noises***

Got it.

 

***silence noises***

Poison

Same

 

**kill me already**

God I can smell everything why can't I block it I always can

 

***silence noises***

Speaking of

 

**kill me already**

He told me to

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

semsorty overlyuod??

 

***silence noises***

I stabbed him with dagger

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

for dsd

 

**kill me already**

What did you do to me

 

***magic doctor noises***

Have you healed the giant cut on her stomach?

 

***silence noises***

What

Oh

 

***magic noises***

Matt, here.

 

***silence noises***

Bring Matt

To silence room

 

**kill me already**

Nononknoninilo

No

 

***silence noises***

Light sage

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

domt tocuh him

 

**kill me already**

I need to hear

 

***silence noises***

Guide with voice

 

***magic noises***

Hold this to your nose, it'll help. It's something Tony and Nat have been working on, it muffles SCENT only.

 

***silence noises***

Then give headphones

 

**kill me already**

No I can't see

 

***magic noises***

Itll make it so you can block it again, but not have be gone.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

h.

 

***silence noises***

Stitchy

Okay

?

 

***magic noises***

Here. Take it.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

mfimr

 

**kill me already**

Everything is working why can't I see it's not coming g together its notworkkinng nonono

 

***magic noises***

My hand with it is just above your upper left thigh. It'll help.

 

***magic doctor noises***

Can confirm, it works again in the future.

It helps, Matt. Just trust him and take it.

 

***silence noises***

Can I sleep yet?

 

**kill me already**

That can't be skin skin doesn't feel like that but mine does too what is it this is wrong

 

***silence noises***

Mmm tired

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

irs. tooloud

hslp

 

***silence noises***

Headphones

 

***magic doctor noises***

Currently images aren't coming together in your mind because you're panicking and able to smell too much. This will help with that.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dumt knwo where

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha, whatever you do, you cannot sleep.

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Hey.

Okay.

Kid, where are you.

I have headphones for you.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hslp itstoomich

myroom

 

 ***shmapta** **in shmerica noises***

On my way.

 

***worried noises***

There.

 

***silence noises***

Shleep

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

cam yuo tell fridsy to do the silemce

 

***worried noises***

The large one is healed.

 

**kill me already**

No they said the visual cortex worked why cantvi see it's fine why is everything wrong

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

the

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha you cannot sleep

 

***worried noises***

NO NATASHA

 

***silence noises***

Whyy

 

***worried noises***

You'll die if you do!

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

blsckout protocol

 

***silence noises***

Deserve to

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

shmap

csn you tell fridjay

 

***worried noises***

No you absolutely don't

 

**kill me already**

Please don't die that smells bad

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

blsckout protocol

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Yup.

 

***silence noises***

Heh

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

thsmk

 

***magic noises***

Nat you aren't allowed to die.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hurts

 

***silence noises***

Smells bad to die

Hehe

 

**kill me already**

The smell never washes out

 

***silence noises***

I smell like roses

Nd blood

 

***worried noises***

Natasha if you die on this table I will drag you back from the afterlife and kill you myself.

And then I will drag you back again, and make you stay.

 

***silence noises***

Nuu

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

shmap i cmant

i csmt

breayhe

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Hey, hey.

 

***silence noises***

Kiddo

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

's'okay, kid.

 

***silence noises***

Kid

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hirtss

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Nat's gonna be fine. Matt's gonna be fine.

What hurts?

 

***silence noises***

Bring kid

To common room

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Kay.

 

***silence noises***

Give blanket

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

no too luod

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha.

 

***silence noises***

ye

S

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

tooloud in commomroom

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

What do you want to do, id?

kid.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

stsy

 

***magic doctor noises***

I need to turn you over.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

my room

 

***silence noises***

Pain

But oky

 

***magic doctor noises***

You have a massive gash on your back, it's the last thing that needs to be healed.

Three.

Two.

One.

 

***silence noises***

Ow

Hngh

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Sorry.

Kid, here.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

whst

 

***silence noises***

Not last injury

Definitely not

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

I got the fuzzy blanket from Bucky's room that you love stealing so much.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

fhzzy good

 

***silence noises***

Give one of my jackets

 

***magic doctor noises***

Where are the rest, Natasha?

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Alright.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

how doyou know i stleal it

 

***magic noises***

Matt, are you better now?

 

***silence noises***

I don't know injuries

General area

Check shoulder

Left

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Because I like to steal it too, and now whenever I look it's not there.

 

***worried noises***

Ah, I see.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ohh

 

***worried noises***

You have bone shards there.

 

***silence noises***

Oh again

Yay

 

***worried noises***

Stephen, are you able to clean them?

No, not again, this is the first time.

 

***silence noises***

Ankle

Remember

 

***worried noises***

The multiple falls chipped your shoulder.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

shmap

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Yeah?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

csn yuo

stay

 

***magic doctor noises***

Alright, yes, I got the shards.

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Sure, kid.

 

***magic noises***

Matt's out.

 

***silence noises***

Mmm probs concussed

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

wss scary

 

***silence noises***

Or head gash

 

***worried noises***

That's one of the reasons we haven't been letting you sleep.

No, no gashes on your head.

Here, I'm healing the concussion now.

 

***silence noises***

Thnks

 

***magic doctor noises***

I've got the poison.

 

***silence noises***

Oh

No

 

***magic noises***

???

 

***silence noises***

Wait

 

***magic noises***

NAT

 

***silence noises***

No

One more

 

***magic doctor noises***

What's wrong?

 

***silence noises***

Whoops

 

***magic doctor noises***

Where.

Natasha.

 

***silence noises***

Puncture

Needle

How he got me to listen to words

That's a different poison

 

***worried noises***

I have the cure for that one.

 

***silence noises***

Oh thank god I can talk semi normally

 

***worried noises***

Here, Stephen.

 

***silence noises***

No Loki

 

***worried noises***

What?

 

***silence noises***

It's not that

 

***magic noises***

Nat what's your bloodtype

 

***silence noises***

This one isn't like a regular one

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

shakp m tirdd

 

***silence noises***

I'm not immune

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Then sleep, kid.

 

***silence noises***

Targets internal

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

bit sleenb is.bad

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Don't worry. Nat will still be here when you wake up.

 

***silence noises***

I will

 

***worried noises***

I'm offended that you think I don't know that, Natasha.

 

***silence noises***

You don't understand

It's like remotely activated

Dormant right now

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

mom m sirry

 

***silence noises***

Don't be

My fault

Not yours

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

mu fualt

 

***silence noises***

No

Sleep

Kid

 

***worried noises***

Why do you think I took so long finding the cure for the other posion? I'm the one who invented both of them. They both have unique chemical markers that only I know to look for, and my cures target those markers and destroy them.

I introduced both poisons to humanity.

 

***silence noises***

How did he get it

And RuDe

 

***worried noises***

I introduced them to humanity. I stabbed someone with them and they recreated them after they learned they couldn't cure them.

Sorry.

Strange.

 

***silence noises***

Sleeby

Want cuddles

 

***magic doctor noises***

Antidote is administered.

 

***silence noises***

Kid

 

***magic noises***

Hey

 

***silence noises***

Cuddle

Want kid

 

***magic noises***

Don't I get cuddles? Come on, I've known you longer.

 

***silence noises***

Sleeb now?

 

***worried noises***

Your concussion is healed, but not quite yet.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

Panic. enjoy

ojay

 

***worried noises***

Give the antidote another two minutes to distribute through your system.

 

***silence noises***

Kiddo want cuddles

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

h

 

**kill me already**

FukxC

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

sire

 

***silence noises***

Who

 

***magic noises***

Matt what's up

 

***silence noises***

Wants

Cuddles

 

***magic noises***

Me pls

 

***silence noises***

I cuddle

Everyone

 

**kill me already**

No

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

H.

 

***silence noises***

And sleep for a week

 

***worried noises***

No.

No sleep.

 

***silence noises***

Matt can have stuffed animals

 

***magic doctor noises***

Not yet, Natasha,

Your heart rate has to pick up a bit more before it would be safe.

 

**kill me already**

Nno

 

***silence noises***

I keep a stress stash of soft stuffed animals

They help

 

***magic noises***

Matt what's wrong?

 

***silence noises***

Sleep

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha, you cannot sleep yet!

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

H.

 

***magic noises***

Nat, if you do, you won't wake up.

 

***silence noises***

Srry

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

mpm

domt

 

**kill me already**

No I can ttt

 

***silence noises***

I

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

plaese mim

 

***silence noises***

Stay

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha, what's your bloodtype?

 

**kill me already**

Lemee see I can tell

 

***magic doctor noises***

Here.

 

**kill me already**

Tastes different

B-

 

***silence noises***

No

Close

AB-

 

**kill me already**

What

 

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***magic doctor noises***

Alright,

 

**kill me already**

Fuckk I'm out of it

 

***silence noises***

No

 

**kill me already**

Missed th A marker

 

***silence noises***

Don't worry

I mean I did fight someone and still have their blood on me

Heh

 

**kill me already**

Get it togrther mrudck

 

***silence noises***

You're doing great matt

 

**kill me already**

No he was iron deficient his tastes different

 

***magic noises***

We have the same bloodtype

Here

 

***silence noises***

I don't think

 

***magic noises***

We do

 

**kill me already**

Lem.e see

 

***silence noises***

Rarest blood type

 

***magic noises***

Mines weird in that way

 

***silence noises***

Coincidence

Maybe because of serum

Hm

 

***magic noises***

Theres only 6 people in the world with my bloodtype

You and Steeb are 2 of them

 

***silence noises***

Weird

 

***silence noises** *** pinned a message to this channel.**

 

***magic doctor noises***

Thank you, Bucky.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

shmpp

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Yes?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m

m gonma

sleeb

 

**kill me already**

I like AB

Its goof

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha are there any other injuries you can feel?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

goodmnight

 

**kill me already**

But O- is besdy

 

***silence noises***

Ngh

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Night, kid.

 

***silence noises***

Nighty night kiddo

I don't know

I'm a little woozy

 

**kill me already**

I'm just A-

 

***silence noises***

Is that blood loss?

Probably

 

***worried noises***

That should change in a bit.

 

**kill me already**

The worst one honestly

 

***silence noises***

Whoops

 

**kill me already**

Like not bad

Just

Not very exciting

 

***worried noises***

You needed blood transfusions.

 

**kill me already**

But maybe that's just cause I'm always tasting it

I still like it

 

***silence noises***

Needed? Or need currently as the room is spinning

Whoops I said that out loud

 

***worried noises***

Need currently, though the need is lessening because blood is entering your body.

 

**kill me already**

I jnoq

 

***magic noises***

Nat, hey.

Focus on me.

All eyes on me.

Nat, come on, stay awake.

Nat?

Natasha!

NAT!

Fuckf

Fucj

No

No

Nat

Nat come on

Wake up

Nat

 

**kill me already**

My eyes don't focia

 

***magic noises***

Nat no come on

NAT YOU GOTTA WAKE UP!

 

***silence noises***

Ngh

Hngh

 

***magic noises***

Nat, thank god

Okay

Nat

From now on

 

***silence noises***

Dizzy

 

***magic noises***

You aren't allowed to close your eyes anymore.

Nat, tell me.

What was it that happened in Germany

Just keep talking

 

***silence noises***

What

Germany?

When

I'm almost 100, specify

 

***magic noises***

At the airport

Are you less dizzy now? Even if only a little?

 

***silence noises***

I tased T'challa hehe

Poor kitty

 

***magic noises***

Nat

Are you less dizzy now?

 

***silence noises***

No

Not really

 

***magic noises***

Not even a little?

 

***silence noises***

Whoopsie

No

 

***magic noises***

Fuck

 

***silence noises***

No

Not really

 

***magic noises***

Not even a little?

 

***silence noises***

Whoopsie

No

 

***magic noises***

Fuck

 

***silence noises***

It's okay

 

***magic noises***

Is there anywhere that hurts more than the rest of your body?

 

***silence noises***

Now that I can think bout it

Yes

Stomach area

Oh wait

Appendix

Maybe

Can't tell

Can't tell

 

***worried noises***

Your appendix ruptured.

Wow.

 

***silence noises***

I have bad luck

 

***worried noises***

Well.

More surgery on Natasha, yay.

 

***silence noises***

Comes with the job hehe

 

***worried noises***

How lucky can I be.

 

***silence noises***

Mm sorry

You shouldn't have to do this

 

***worried noises***

This one will be mostly magical.

 

***magic doctor noises***

She's been numbed.

 

***silence noises***

I'm sorr-

 

**kill me already**

H

 

***magic doctor noises***

Making the incision now.

 

**kill me already**

Make one on me tooo

 

***magic noises***

Nat, keep those eyes open.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m

awkae

 

***silence noises***

Fhsjsh

Ow

 

***magic noises***

I know you can't really type right, but keep your eyes open.

 

**kill me already**

Coward do ot

 

***magic noises***

You don't have to reply, just keep your eyes open.

 

***silence noises***

I can use speech to text

I talk ya know

 

**kill me already**

DO IT

 

***silence noises***

I've been using speech to text whole time

Also this hurts

I want sleep

Ow

 

***magic doctor noises***

Not as bad as it could.

 

***silence noises***

Heh

 

**kill me already**

Do it coward

 

***silence noises***

Sleep

 

***magic doctor noises***

Loki is extracting your appendix now.

 

***silence noises***

?

 

**kill me already**

No

 

***magic doctor noises***

No. No sleep.

 

***silence noises***

What

 

**kill me already**

I like appendix

 

***silence noises***

No

 

**kill me already**

Yea

 

***magic doctor noises***

I'm cleaning the blood.

 

**kill me already**

I cann

 

***silence noises***

Can I close my eyes if I keep talking

 

***worried noises***

The appendix is out.

 

***silence noises***

Because I don't want to see my own appendix

 

***worried noises***

Yes, you may.

 

***silence noises***

Oh than

k

 

**kill me already**

We don't wasr food in this house matthew

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

whst

 

***silence noises***

Matt

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

oh

oh

 

***silence noises***

Shit

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

fck

 

***worried noises***

You are not eating Natasha's ruptured appendix.

 

***silence noises***

Someone help Matt

 

***magic doctor noises***

What's wrong with him?

 

**kill me already**

Why I'm xdibe

 

***silence noises***

He's talking in 3rd person again

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

was that "fine" or "edible"

 

**kill me already**

Yes

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok

 

***silence noises***

Someone help him

 

**kill me already**

Gglaw we could have this tall

 

***magic doctor noises***

Here, your wound is closed and healing.

 

**kill me already**

In fime

 

***silence noises***

Thank

Matt no

 

***magic noises***

Are you less dizzy now?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

whrres shmap i gotta apologixe for mildly freakimg out on him

 

**kill me already**

I wast dizzy

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Kid, you're fine.

Don't worry.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ms orry

 

***magic noises***

Nat.

Are you not as dizzy now?

 

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***magic noises***

Thank god.

 

**kill me already**

Do the dance and find ourt

 

***silence noises***

Sorry

Thinking

 

***magic noises***

Hey I think

 

***silence noises***

I made a decision

 

***magic noises***

On what?

 

***silence noises***

I'm not getting rid of widow

 

**kill me already**

Dance on my grave

 

***magic noises***

Natasha. Widow's gone.

 

**kill me already**

Pleas

 

***silence noises***

No

She's not

I'd know buck

She wasn't deactivated

 

***magic noises***

Natasha, the command I planted wasn't designed to deactivate her. It was designed to erase her.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dad

 

**kill me already**

Matt

 

***silence noises***

You could only override

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dsd m sorru for cryimg on yuo earlier

 

***silence noises***

I know widow is there

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

also freakimg out on you

 

***silence noises***

Because I can remember

 

**kill me already**

Matt's fine

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

bullshit

 

***silence noises***

If I couldn't, I wouldn't be speaking as myself

 

**kill me already**

He can talk to you later

 

***silence noises***

You know this

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

ok

 

***magic noises***

Natasha, the command was designed to make her forget she existed.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

also is dad just Wild ahaim ??

 

***silence noises***

I know what widow did

 

**kill me already**

I mean

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

why the 3rd person

 

**kill me already**

I guess I am matt

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

yeah??

 

**kill me already**

But am I really

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

yep

 

***magic noises***

Not you. You know she exists. You know what shes done. She doesn't. She isn't Widow anymore.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

i hope

 

**kill me already**

I'm sorta matt

 

***silence noises***

Hehehe

You don't understand

 

***magic noises***

She's just another person who's been trained to kill.

 

**kill me already**

But were a little different

 

***silence noises***

Bucky

 

***magic noises***

Yes?

 

**kill me already**

But that's not a thing

 

***silence noises***

Soldier and Widow are differently programmed

It's not the same

 

**kill me already**

I don't think he can handle being Matt so hell just be me because I'm better and I know it

He doesn't like me

 

***silence noises***

Who are you

 

***magic noises***

I know. I helped them create Widow. I was Widow's handler and trainer for a time.

 

**kill me already**

I'm matt

 

***silence noises***

You'll see in time Bucky

And no you're not matt

You're not the usual Matt

 

***magic noises***

Are you the Daredevil?

 

**kill me already**

I mean were the same person

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

whst

 

***silence noises***

Heh

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

whats happmeing to all m yparents

 

***silence noises***

Matt is proving my point

 

***magic noises***

No. If you were, you wouldn't say that you aren't Matt.

 

**kill me already**

Hm

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

h

 

**kill me already**

They're fine, they just need to rest

 

***magic noises***

Is this a case of "I'm not the Widow, but the Widow is me"?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

wh o

 

**kill me already**

Your parents

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m

 

***magic doctor noises***

We're done.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

yeha

 

**kill me already**

Go to bed

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

who go to bed

 

**kill me already**

You, you seem upset.

 

***magic doctor noises***

Natasha, your heart rate is safe and consistent. You can sleep now.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m fien

 

***magic doctor noises***

But first answer Bucky's question.

 

***silence noises***

No

And yes

 

***magic doctor noises***

No waht/

 

**kill me already**

Your name is literally c r yi m g.

 

***silence noises***

Widow is programmed

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

B)

 

***silence noises***

But I have overrode the programming subconsciously

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

i tend to cry after wild dauys

its not a big dleal

 

**kill me already**

Today was agreeably unpleasant.

 

***silence noises***

Technically speaking, right now you are talking to widow

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

hte bad guy

 

***magic noises***

But you're still here.

You **are** the Widow.

 

**kill me already**

He's dead.

 

***silence noises***

I've become more of a subconscious than an alternate

Yes

 

***magic noises***

Jesus fuck

 

***silence noises***

I am both

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

poimted gun at me

 

**kill me already**

Dead.

 

***magic noises***

What do you mean, subconscious?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dead os bad

 

***silence noises***

The words trigger a state where my body reacts, not my mind

 

***magic noises***

Whose become the main persona

 

***silence noises***

Neither

 

**kill me already**

It's done. Nothing we can do.

 

***silence noises***

I am Natasha, and also widow

 

***magic noises***

But also both

Fuck

Shit

God fucking dammit

We can't erase one without killing the other can we

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

neither can live while the other survives

 

***silence noises***

You have become the only one who can actually activate the state where I can be controlled physically

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

is thst the quote

 

***silence noises***

My mentality is my own

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

id omt know

 

***silence noises***

Always has been

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dsd

 

***silence noises***

That's how I resisted without it being erased before

I've always been widow

 

**kill me already**

Matt.

 

***magic noises***

And now I'm the only one who can trigger the Black Widow's reactions..

***silence noises***

Yes

 

***magic noises***

Fanfuckingtastic.

 

***silence noises***

Technically

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

thr secomd bad guuy tried to.hurt dad

 

***silence noises***

Second?

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

the towrr

 

***silence noises***

What

That was the same guy

Kid

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

rgiht

 

***magic noises***

If we were to erase the words from your mind, would the effect they have on your reaction be erased as well?

No.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

was it

 

***magic noises***

That wasn't the same guy

 

***silence noises***

Wait

Shit

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

theu looked

differmet

 

***silence noises***

Stay away

Back up

 

***magic noises***

Nat.

The only "bad guy" at the tower was Widow, kid.

 

**kill me already**

Hm.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

no

?

 

***silence noises***

I wasn't

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

no he gurt dsd

 

***silence noises***

Erase the words

Now

 

***magic doctor noises***

Stitchy, we killed Geoff and left him in that warehouse.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

was chasimg me

 

**kill me already**

No, remember, another man was there.

Yes.

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

was scary

 

***silence noises***

ERASE THEM

 

***magic doctor noises***

There was no other bad guy besides the Black Widow.

 

***magic noises***

Okay. Alrightm

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

wjo was thrre

 

***silence noises***

But that wasn't me

 

**kill me already**

Broke my leg, if I recall.

 

***silence noises***

Mission protect

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

they.chased me

 

***magic noises***

You have to calm down first.

 

***silence noises***

Not attack

 

***magic noises***

Shit

Nat. Nat, calm down.

 

**kill me already**

Definitively male.

 

***silence noises***

Bucky it won't erase the widow

Just the words

Do it

Now

Please

 

***magic noises***

I dkn't want to hurt you again, especially not after Loki and Steph just healed you.

Hold still.

 

***silence noises***

It won't hurt me

 

***magic noises***

I know. Just hold still.

 

***silence noises***

I can't forget Widow

Oh god

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

threr was a secomd guy rihgt dad

 

***magic noises***

In order to erase the words, we have to knock you out. Hold still.

 

**kill me already**

I.

 

***silence noises***

Okay

Wait

One second

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dad

 

***worried noises***

I have the proper formula for the knock-out poison.

 

***silence noises***

Matt, Protect Stitchy

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m fime

 

**kill me already**

Of course.

 

***silence noises***

He's still here

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

m fime

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

The kid's with me.

 

***silence noises***

Do it now

Bucky

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Don't worry.

 

***magic noises***

Yup.

 

***silence noises***

Good

 

**hsllo my nme is PANIC**

dsd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dad


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peber thinks and thatz not good for anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY SOEMTHINF SHORT I XOULD WHOP YP AND ESIT IN FRICKINNN TTEN MINUTES OR LESS

**[#general]**

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Does anyone want to explain what the phrase "this song is a BOP" means?

 

***crying² noises***

give me two minutes i need to find the chart

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Wait, chart? What chart?

 

***crying² noises***

this chart

that probably explains absolutely nothing if you havent heard at least ten of those songs but oof

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

I've heard most of them.

I still don't understand.

 

***crying² noises***

oof

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

What is the Point Of Existence.

 

***crying² noises***

if youd said meaning of life i could say 42 but the point of existence is probably more like an imaginary number

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Ah, so the Point Of Existence is imaginary. That makes sense.

 

***crying² noises***

not to give anyone an existential crisis but when you think about it were like the universe's version of ants to us

sure, we affect each other, and yall affect earth, but weve made a significant impact on the universe... once... and that was sort of an accident

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

When have ants ever had a significant effect on us?

I'll tell you.   
Never

 

***crying² noises***

its the equivalent of ants rising up and taking over for an hour and then us remembering we have ant killer and can avtually step on them

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

They have never once saved us.

Thus?

We are not ants to the universe.

 

***crying² noises***

we may be more like bees

since the bees actually help

they might sting but thats ok

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Actually, that's an incredibly accurate representation, but. When have bees ever saved Earth?

 

***crying² noises***

in the end the universe doesnt rlly care weve had our ten minutes of glory and now some other world-ending event is happening in other places thats overshadowing us

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

I'm sorry, it's habit to poke holes in Tony's plans that he doesn't have fully hashed out.

 

***crying² noises***

bees have saved earth by not dying out and therfore continuing to pollinate since theyre one of the biggest pollinators and without them plants would die and rhen we would die of carbon dioxide and starvation

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

This is true.

 

***crying² noises***

i hate to say this but the avengers will die out   
other heroes will step in   
but as it is theres like 5 members who can feasibly carry this on for more than 40 years since the rest of yall are, unfortunately, old   
and we can continue recruiting   
but we will slowly fade out   
and other people will step in   
but theyll slow down   
and eventually heroism will become a myth   
we'll be revered as gods of an ancient time, though weve done little to earn that title   
and thats all

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

Are you alright, Peter?

 

***crying² noises***

i have been worse

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

But are you alright?

 

***crying² noises***

my bones are intact and not cronchy

im alive

*t poses*

 

***crying noises***

mood

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

_ But are you alright. _

 

***crying noises***

tbh whats it like being alright

 

***crying² noises***

*maniacal laughter*

im alright in the same sense mr stark doesnt have nightmares

i dodge the subject and recreate some meme when people hit too close to home

 

***shmaptain shmerica noises***

As far as I'm aware, Tony has nightmares every night still.

Shit, kid.

 

***crying² noises***

*dabs*

  
***stop it noises***

Cant have nightmares if i dont sleep   
But for real kid do you like need therapy

  
***crying noises***

yo thats my logic too!

  
***stop it noises***

Or a hug

  
***crying noises***

no sleep no nightmares :dabs:

  
***stop it noises***

NO DO NOT LISTEN TO ME I AM A BAD EXAMPLE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i okay


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this house we love and respect matt murdock being happy
> 
> so names since im a disasrer and also change evrryones nicks on a whim:
> 
> devil bro - matt  
> stinky uwu - stitchy  
> hungry spider-bro - peter  
> yes - foggy

**[#general]**

 

**devil bro**

Hbngh

Whoinmroom

Waitnvm

 

**yes**

Just us thot

 

**devil bro**

Wowokrudde

 

**yes**

Almost dying is rude

 

**devil bro**

Eh

 

**yes**

Btw were having that Talk now

 

**devil bro**

Shit

 

**stinky uwu**

what talk

dad what talk

 

**devil bro**

thtalk

 

**stinky uwu**

wait

wait

THAT talk

 

**devil bro**

Whichone

 

**stinky uwu**

the one between yall

abt the interesting shit

 

**devil bro**

Perhaps

 

**stinky uwu**

are yall getting back together

 

**devil bro**

Ohfuckithinkhenoticedbrb

 

**stinky uwu**

(eyes emoji)

@yes whatcha doing to dad (eyes emoji)

 

**yes**

We are tearing him a new one

 

**stinky uwu**

wh

What

a new what

 

**devil bro**

I'm in danger

 

**stinky uwu**

also who the FYUCK is we

 

**hungry spider-bro**

please no murder on mr murdocks catholic hell

 

**stinky uwu**

i miss when this server revolved around me

 

**hungry spider-bro**

same

 

**stinky uwu**

whay

you miss when it revolved around you

?

 

**hungry spider-bro**

yes

i made this place

i had The Power

 

**stinky uwu**

it, , it can if you want

 

**hungry spider-bro**

akfhskdka idc that much

 

**stinky uwu**

name it pebers sticky server

 

**hungry spider-bro**

it was funny but N O

 

**yes**

We are me, Karen, and Castle

 

**hungry spider-bro**

that sounds like a bad texture tbh

 

**yes**

And we are going to kill Matt

 

**stinky uwu**

castle (shook eyes emoji)

 

**yes**

Because hes fuckin stupid

 

**hungry spider-bro**

sticky not mr foggy miss karen and frank

 

**stinky uwu**

why are you bringing death to my father

 

**yes**

Hes dumb that's why

 

**stinky uwu**

can i watch its nice to know people are looking out for him

whts he dumb abt

 

**hungry spider-bro**

no death in stitchys good quaker minecraft server

 

**yes**

being alive

 

**stinky uwu**

also why the fyuck is caste involved

i want to speak to him whats he gonna do

 

**hungry spider-bro**

if mr murdock is ok with it please snuggle him for me id do it but i think hed break my face

 

**stinky uwu**

id do it but hed cry and i felt rlly bad ths first time i asked and he panicked

 

**yes**

Hm

Maybe but first I'm going to cry @ him or something equally manly while Karen yells and Frank Franks

 

**hungry spider-bro**

ok

 

**yes**

brb

 

**stinky uwu**

what does frank franking mean

WHA t

who even is frank

someone bls explain

 

**devil bro**

HhHWlp

 

**stinky uwu**

gimme a sec m in the vents

yall in your room Or?

 

**devil bro**

AaAAAAAaaaAaaA

 

**stinky uwu**

ok headed there

 

**yes**

Matt you dramatic bitch stfu

 

**hungry spider-bro**

does hawaiian punch taste like blood to anyone else

 

**devil bro**

No

 

**stinky uwu**

uncle foggy blease tell me who is frank/castle and what does he want to do to dad

no

blood is more,, meh

 

**hungry spider-bro**

punisher

 

**stinky uwu**

hm

beyond that what the fyuck does he want to do w dad??

 

**devil bro**

hel0

 

**hungry spider-bro**

frank threatened to dismember my toes with a single bullet id hate to know what hes doing to mr murdock

 

**stinky uwu**

like i understand uncle foggy and karen but i havent heard abt frank other than a mention once or twice

also would karen let me call her aunt karen

 

**devil bro**

JhQA

 

**hungry spider-bro**

big scary man with gun who also has dog fur on his shirt sometimes

 

**stinky uwu**

hm

what would he do if i fell on him from a vent

 

**hungry spider-bro**

ive spent exactly seven minutes and thirty-two seconds with him and based on that either murder or just stare

 

**stinky uwu**

hmm

its tempting to see his reaction but m gonna continue trying to eavesdrop w out dad calling me out

 

**hungry spider-bro**

akfhakdjaksba

 

**stinky uwu**

update: THIS IS NOT A CONVO I WANT TO HEAR THERE IS FEELINGS INVOLVED TIME TO Y E E T

 

**hungry spider-bro**

yeet

 

**stinky uwu**

hey he y peber

 

**hungry spider-bro**

hey

 

**stinky uwu**

when will your Special Friends B;) b at the compound again

 

**hungry spider-bro**

ned over spring break probs, mj when they do

im sleeby

 

**stinky uwu**

va l id

 

**hungry spider-bro**

good night

 

**stinky uwu**

gn

sleeb well peber

 

**devil bro**

Hgm

 

**stinky uwu**

dad

 

**devil bro**

H

 

**stinky uwu**

i heard the Juicy shit (eyes emoji)

 

**devil bro**

Didn

 

**stinky uwu**

did too

 

**devil bro**

Hgh

 

**stinky uwu**

what are yall (shook eyes emoji)

 

**devil bro**

Hell

 

**stinky uwu**

uwu

 

**hungry spider-bro**

update: have not fallen asleep

 

**stinky uwu**

fyucking rip

 

**devil bro**

Jel0

 

**stinky uwu**

(eyes emoji)

 

**devil bro**

Hel

 

**stinky uwu**

@yes hey whatcha doing to dad

 

**hungry spider-bro**

u ok

 

**yes**

B)

 

**devil bro**

HhH

 

**stinky uwu**

uncle foggy blease

 

**devil bro**

TheyvenomercyY

 

**hungry spider-bro**

whats wronf

 

**devil bro**

AaAAaA

 

**stinky uwu**

what are they doing tho

when i was eavesroppinf they were just talkimf

 

**devil bro**

Tes

 

**stinky uwu**

have they smooched you (shook eyes emoji)

 

**devil bro**

Im hindin

 

**stinky uwu**

theyll,, find y o u

 

**hungry spider-bro**

phones have trackers and also friday will tattle if they think to ask

 

**devil bro**

No they let me

 

**stinky uwu**

oh

 

**hungry spider-bro**

ok

fair

 

**stinky uwu**

why are you hiding

 

**devil bro**

Do you really think I could escape them if they didn't want me to

 

**stinky uwu**

is that too personal sorru

no

you couldnt

 

**hungry spider-bro**

yes ur a nimja

ninja man

 

**devil bro**

Ye but Frank shot me in the head

 

**hungry spider-bro**

what

 

**devil bro**

Water under the beidhe

 

**hungry spider-bro**

llike now??

 

**devil bro**

Lol no

 

**hungry spider-bro**

oh ok

 

**devil bro**

Like last year

 

**hungry spider-bro**

fair enough

glad you didnt die

 

**stinky uwu**

wh

where is he

i need to talk to him

 

**hungry spider-bro**

you need a snug?

 

**stinky uwu**

fyikcin meanie

 

**devil bro**

What hes cool

 

**stinky uwu**

(eyes emoji)

 

**hungry spider-bro**

please dont kill frank i think hes a nice guy he just needs to maybe not dismember my toes

 

**devil bro**

He wouldnt hurt a kid

 

**stinky uwu**

do yoy think i could actually kill him

habe you Met me

i cried when mom was torutring that dude

 

**devil bro**

Lol you couldntroxuh himm

 

**stinky uwu**

yeah

i know

 

**devil bro**

Gooood inm dyingggggggg

 

**stinky uwu**

why

 

**hungry spider-bro**

he scares me i am not willing to risk my toes

 

**stinky uwu**

what is the Talk even abt

 

**devil bro**

Because uh

UhH

 

**stinky uwu**

explain.

blease dad

 

**yes**

Gay

 

**devil bro**

FfOGYy

 

**hungry spider-bro**

tgat happens

 

**stinky uwu**

i fycukint knew it

wait thats not completely gay

bc

kqren

 

**devil bro**

HhHHH H H. H

 

**stinky uwu**

hm.

 

**yes**

Matt you fucking walnut are you done with your tantrum yet

 

**devil bro**

Uts not a tantrum

 

**yes**

Sure dude

 

**devil bro**

Fu k you

 

**stinky uwu**

uwu uncle fofgy is calling yoy OUT

he might

 

**yes**

Is it legal for me to make a joke abt that

 

**stinky uwu**

yes

 

**hungry spider-bro**

is this yall at me murdock rn

 

**stinky uwu**

i did

 

**yes**

Yes

 

**stinky uwu**

yes it is

 

**hungry spider-bro**

good

 

**devil bro**

Good thing i csnr fuckin see

 

**stinky uwu**

its someone nutting

 

**hungry spider-bro**

its a dog with heart emojis

 

**devil bro**

What

 

**stinky uwu**

NU T

 

**devil bro**

I

Nevveromind

 

**hungry spider-bro**

LOVE DOG

 

**stinky uwu**

N U T

 

**yes**

Matt I'll tell you later

 

**hungry spider-bro**

D O G S E N D I B G L O V E

 

**devil bro**

Ok

And illegal

 

**stinky uwu**

nut.

 

**yes**

Ok Matt I'm bored we've sent frank

 

**hungry spider-bro**

ppl love u btw mr murdock

 

**yes**

Kid stop

 

**hungry spider-bro**

its not a nut

 

**stinky uwu**

whihc kid

 

**yes**

He doesnt even know what that is but still it's the principal of the thing

Blue omd

 

**devil bro**

Stitvjy are you blue

 

**hungry spider-bro**

yes he is

 

**yes**

Yes you fuckwit

Anyways Frank says hes almost there

 

**hungry spider-bro**

time to try sleep again

 

**devil bro**

He smells like gunmetal I can see him from a mile away

 

**yes**

Ok well cooperate unless you want him to shoot you again

 

**devil bro**

Nigh peteer

 

**yes**

Night kid

 

**devil bro**

PHUCK HE GOT MEAAA

 

**stinky uwu**

hehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> frank, franking: *increasingly frustrated grunting, probably*


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> got one of them T H I C C rels, my popskis?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip matt
> 
> break my kneecaps = matt

**stinky uwu**

i amm awkske

 

**hungry spider-bro**

good

 

**stinky uwu**

but onlu kinda

fyucking uwu

 

**break my kneecaps**

Perish.

 

**stinky uwu**

i will, tyvm

dad what happened after yalls TalkTM last night?

 

**break my kneecaps**

B)

 

**stinky uwu**

fine ill ask uncle foggy

 

**break my kneecaps**

PnoO

 

**stinky uwu**

@yes blease i want to know what yall did to my father

unless its B;) yknow then keep it to yourself

 

**yes**

He ran away cos hes a lil bitch is what happened so then Frank grabbed him and they tussled like a buncha little kids and then Matt passed tf out from exhaustion so Frank got him back over here and we cuddled and Matt just woke tf up and we finished The Talk

 

**break my kneecaps**

Why do you do this.

 

**stinky uwu**

valid bUt what happened after The Talk,, like,, is it The Talk m thinkinf of??

 

**yes**

Idk but prolly

 

**break my kneecaps**

Foggy.

Why.

 

**stinky uwu**

the one where yall like each other in a certain Way?

 

**yes**

Booboo the fool

Helk yae

 

**hungry spider-bro**

yeet

 

**stinky uwu**

uwu

 

**yes**

Anyways I got shit to do make Matt suffer bur

 

**hungry spider-bro**

have fun

see you later mr foggy

 

**break my kneecaps**

Why do you hate me.

 

**stinky uwu**

bye uncle foggy

does this mean dad has one of em Thicc relationships

 

**break my kneecaps**

What does that even mean.

 

**hungry spider-bro**

he means does everyone love you and do you love everyone

 

**stinky uwu**

it meAns do you have multiple romantic partners (shook eyes emoji)

or like. any

 

**break my kneecaps**

Dont ask questions I dont want or have the answers to

 

**stinky uwu**

valid i just want you to b happy

 

**hungry spider-bro**

in this house we love and support mr murdock being happy

 

**stinky uwu**

in this house we Yeet happy and love and support at dad and force him to Accept it

 

**break my kneecaps**

Cease.

 

**stinky uwu**

ni

no

ill contact your,,, "Friends" uwu

 

**break my kneecaps**

Foggy is busy, and the other two have no means of contact available to you.

 

**stinky uwu**

bet

 

**break my kneecaps**

That would be illegal, but in theory, yes.

 

**stinky uwu**

hm.

i Could find karen probably

hehe

 

**break my kneecaps**

Do it, no balls.

 

**stinky uwu**

dont insult me about my no balls status

 

**break my kneecaps**

That's not what I meant, also I can't even see.

 

**stinky uwu**

also i found karens email

 

**break my kneecaps**

Fuck.

I forgot she's a reporter.

 

**stinky uwu**

yeah

oh her number is here too (eyes emoji)

 

**break my kneecaps**

Goddamnit.

 

**stinky uwu**

hmmmmm

should i contact her

Hmmmm

 

**break my kneecaps**

No.

 

**stinky uwu**

why nit

 

**break my kneecaps**

Because I asked politely.

 

**stinky uwu**

did not

 

**break my kneecaps**

Please do not contact her.

Yes I did.

 

**stinky uwu**

hm.

 

**break my kneecaps**

Kid don't

 

**stinky uwu**

hehe

 

**break my kneecaps**

Have mercy.

 

**stinky uwu**

_ hehe _

 

**break my kneecaps**

I'm begging you.

 

**stinky uwu**

m not contacting her

Yet.

 

**break my kneecaps**

Thank fuck.

 

**stinky uwu**

thank stitchy more like

but anyway dad if you ever stop taking care of yourself again and i get worried i will contact both her and uncle foggy

 

**break my kneecaps**

Hgh.

Did you know that rumble strips on the side of the road are so that blind people can drive safely?

 

**stinky uwu**

wh

what

dad are you driving

 

**break my kneecaps**

B)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the fuck are rumble strips are those a thing people with paved roads have


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again written by buckyee and co
> 
> or buckyee or co i dobt rememver
> 
> i havent avtually written for this fic in foreveer yet i have five wip events this one just works as standalone so yeet

**March 31st, 10:33 PM**

Brunnhilde held still for a moment, and looked down at the ring in her hand. A simple band of platinum-coated vibranium, with ‘ _ Eternity’ _ engraved within. She had commissioned Shuri for it, because as brilliant as Stark is, he would have given the game away so quickly she wouldn’t even have time to ask Natasha what she thought. She pushed open the door to the roof of the Compound, and threw up a facade of indifference. Natasha would see through it right away, but she wouldn’t know  **why.**

“Oh, hi,” Natasha said. She was standing near the edge of the roof, fixing one of her ziplines. Her expression was of complete concentration- she’d only glanced away to see who it was that had come through the door. Brunnhilde leaned against the frame, watching as she worked. She began to smile, wondering how the hell she’d managed to be so lucky. 

Once she had finished mending the cable, Natasha came over to Brunnhilde, meeting near the center of the roof. Surprising even herself, Brunnhilde embraced Natasha, a whispered  _ I love you _ heard by no one but them. 

Brunnhilde let her go, and stepped back. Surprise flickered across Natasha’s face, and she felt proud that Natasha didn’t try to hide how she felt around her. 

“So, you know that secret Strange was telling you about? Well uh… this is it.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, and then got down on one knee. Surprise, then a shocked realisation flared across Natasha’s face, and her hands flew up to her mouth, trying to stifle a gasp as Brunnhilde pulled out the ring. 

“Natasha, I....” she took a moment, made an attempt to gather herself.

“I know it hasn’t been… very long of a time that I’ve known you. And I know that… I know that it probably feels like it was yesterday that we were on this roof the first time, when you couldn’t even look me in the eye.”  Utter adoration shined across Brunnhilde’s face as she continued. “Because to me it feels like it was just yesterday.

“But at the same time, it also feels like it’s already been a hundred years, like I’ve already known you my whole life.” Tears began spilling over from Natasha’s beautiful,  **beautiful** green eyes. “And I know that yes, this is probably too soon, but when have I ever cared about time?” Brunnhilde laughed a bit, trying to keep her own tears at bay.

“I love you, I love you and Carol more than I ever thought I would be capable of loving anyone ever again. And someh- SOMEHOW, I feel that love for not just one, but  **two** extraordinary women. It’s absolutely astounding to me that I even got to meet either of you, and yet here we are.” She stopped, looking down and away for a moment, nervous laughter bubbling through her. 

“So… I know, I know that you and Carol are already engaged, and I know that Carol and I are already soulbound. But uh… we’ve been thinking lately. Why not complete the circle?” Brunnhilde forced herself to look into Natasha’s tear-struck eyes as she said her last piece.

“Natasha Romanova, love of my life, will you marry me?”

The roof was completely silent for a moment, and Brunnhilde began wondering “fuck, what if I- was it- did I fuck up somewhere? I- I knew I shouldn’t have done this, how could I have been s-” her internal ramblings were cut off.

"Yes. Yes I will…” Natasha whispered quietly. She moved her palm from her mouth, revealing the bright, brilliant, beautiful smile Brunnhilde loved so much, but so rarely got to see.

“I- what?” Brunnhilde was completely frozen, wondering if she had heard that right.

“I’d love to marry you, marry both of you.” Natasha took the ring from between Brunnhilde’s fingers, gasping softly when she realised what was engraved inside. She slid it gently onto her left ring finger, then took Brunnhilde’s trembling hands into her own. Brunnhilde jolted back to reality, and inhaled sharply. Practically jumping to her feet, she embraced Natasha again, hugging her as tightly as she dared. She didn’t even realise she was crying. They both stood there, overjoyed, crying gently into each other’s embrace.

Carol came up about two minutes later, and quietly laughed at the scene. “Brunn, you might want to stop hugging her. I don’t think she can totally breathe right now.” Brunnhilde pulled away from the hug, eyes shining with both tears and joy as she exclaimed,

“I! I’m just! Dannie, she said yes!” She rushed forward to give her literal soulmate a hug as Natasha stood there, thinking, “and to believe I once thought that Carol and Brunn would leave me just because they’re soulbound.” Suddenly, that same irrational concern popped up, dominating her thoughts. She had to voice them, she was so taken by the fear that it was true.

“Are you- are you sure you want me?” She asked, so full of uncertainty. Her hands latched onto her arms, and she began to fold in over them, going into a defensive posture dominated by fear. 

Brunnhilde whipped around immediately, concern written all over her face. Natasha flinched back violently, beginning to back away. Brunnhilde schooled her expression into calm concern, oblivious to the fact that Carol’s own expression mirrored hers. She brought her hands back down to her sides, and said, 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more certain of a decision in my life, Natasha.” Her voice was calm, collected, and she spoke with such a firm tone that it surprised everyone there, including herself. Natasha, in such disbelief, asked,

“R-really? An- and what about you Carol?” Her face lined with tears as they began to walk towards her. Carol grabbed her hands, uncurling them from where they were digging into her skin through her hoodie. She looked into her eyes, rubbing soothing circles into Natasha’s palms. 

“Natasha. I love you, I love you more than I ever thought I would. Why, why would I ever not want you?” She brought her hand up, brushing away Natasha’s tears, brushing a long strand of fiery hair back, tucking it behind her ear. Leaning down, she captured Natasha’s lips in a gentle kiss, pulling away swiftly. Natasha closed her eyes, leaning into Carol’s palm at her jaw.

“I don’t deserve you guys,” she whispered. Carol smiled softly, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes. 

“I think you’re right. I don’t think you deserve us.” Natasha looked up quickly, shock clear across her face. Brunnhilde, who had walked up to be just behind Carol, caught on and said,

“Neither do I. I think you deserve far more.” The shock melted away from Natasha’s face as adoration and affection replaced it, and she moved from Carol’s grip to in between them, nearly launching herself at Brunnhilde, hugging her as tightly as she could.

“I- I love you both. So much. N-never...never leave me?” She said, tensing when she felt Carol wrap around her from behind. 

“Of course not,” Brunnhilde promised.

“Never,” Carol whispered against her ear.

Tears started up again, and Natasha’s frame shook with her silent cries. “Can- can we, cuddle? Just us? I… didn’t. Sleep well. At all.” 

“Of course. Come on, I’ll carry you, if you’d like.” Carol said. The relief she felt, the power those words had, was immense. Natasha relaxed into Brunnhilde’s arms, leaning against her. 

“Yes please,” she said. Carol chuckled softly, and began to lightly tug her away from Brunnhilde. 

“Alright, come on. My room, I assume?” Carol bent down, scooping up her small girlfriend, carrying her bridal style. Natasha leaned against her chest, asking in a quiet voice,   
“Is.. is it alright if… if I sleep between you guys? I- it’s okay if I can’t…” Carol looked down, her face filled with nothing more than love, absolute and pure. 

‘Sounds perfect to me. Brunn?’ She looked back at her soulmate, who was the living, breathing epitome of the phrase “heart-eyes.” 

“Huh? Oh- uh, yeah. No place I’d rather have you, Tasha.” Brunnhilde became flustered, tripping over her words a bit. It wasn’t hard for Carol to guess what she had been thinking about, and she tossed a smirk her way. Brunnhilde became even redder than before, and followed after.

“Thank you…” Natasha trailed off, and Carol realised it was because she was already half asleep. She smiled down at her, and started down the stairs, doing her best to keep her steps light and quiet. Quietly, Brunnhilde responded, 

“Of course.” Natasha’s eyes fluttered open, and she made a visible effort to say to them, 

“I love you guys.” Simultaneously, the soulmates replied, 

“We love you too.” The trio was silent as they walked, Brunnhilde eventually climbing onto Carol’s back, dozing off. Carol floated slowly up to the bed, putting Natasha down in the center, letting Brunnhilde down on the left side. Settling in, she began to cuddle against Natasha, her much taller form curling around her, Natasha’s own body curling around Brunnhilde. She sounded so tired when she said,  “Might night…?”

“Mmm… goodnight, hon.” Brunnhilde murmured. 

“Night, love.” Carol whispered into her ear.

  
  


**11:33 P.M.**

“Brunn? A-are you awake?” Natasha whispered quietly into Brunnhilde’s ear, shaking her lightly, trying her best not to wake up Carol, who was sleeping soundly for the first time in months. 

“Mmmm… What’s wrong?” Brunnhilde’s words slurred together as she woke up.

"I’m just. Not really able to… process this. I feel like if I go to sleep I’ll wake up and this didn’t ever happen.” Brunnhilde turned around, looking at Natasha. Her words brought up a memory, and suddenly Brunnhilde was nearly wide awake. She laughed gently, moving closer to hug Natasha.

“Well, i know the feeling. How do you think I felt when I woke up the first time, completely sober for the first time in over a thousand years, in bed with my literal soulmate and the woman who loved her enough to take a chance on  **me** ? I’ll be honest; I was terrified of going to sleep that night. So, take all the time you want. We’ll still be right here.” She smiled, moving in to press a kiss against Natasha’s lips.

“You will?” Natasha asked, exhaustion slurring her words together.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im reading this for tbe first tjme now and i cried so thanks buckyee and co


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet more short fillwr bc im bored
> 
> so uh. ive been formatting one chapter thats close to done, i have like maybe 2 more hours of copying and formatting? and its kinda long whoops. and then on top of that i have what will almost definitely end up being multiple chapters that take up the span of around a week of rp right now and will continue probably. so this was my "haha its already mostly ready lets just post it" break. from here on out its actually got a semi linear plotline yeet

** [#general] **

**the Best Kiddo™**

hahahahah guess who just learned dirty danish slang

 

**peber**

bakers

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

wh

no

wanna know a fun danish sentence

 

**peber**

depends

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

on?

 

**peber**

do you wanna know a dumb spider fact i learned today

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

sure

trade random fact for random fact

 

**peber**

sounds good

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

here's the sentence i learned

Nu hører du fucking her, dit stykke af  pikslikkende numsehul

 

**peber**

akdhakdhsksha

whats it mean

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

means now listen up, you piece of dick loving butthole

 

**peber**

ALDHKADHAHSAH

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

my minecraft wife taught me it

 

**peber**

best minecraft wife

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

dont tell loki-dad he wont approve

oh wait

none of my dads will approve

igjfijgsdjisd

 

**peber**

alfjajdha

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

i think i summoned him??

help

 

**peber**

i learned spiders have blue blood

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

oh nice!

 

**peber**

ALFHALFHKABS

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

so do you have blue blood then

 

**peber**

i have a bluish tint to my blood i guess? its weird its like reddish purple

and it freaks me out

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

i wish i had purple blood

that'd b sick

 

**peber**

i didnt know my blood was like this and im always bleeding how did i not notice!!

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

usually hwen you bleed youre probably kind of panicked ??

 

**peber**

unless my spiderness is just slowly taking me over

fair

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

i hope so

that'd be sick

 

**peber**

am i panicked when i bleed?

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

when youre a grandpa youll b like that huge ass spider from hp\

 

**peber**

or do i just like

_ walks into a room _ hey mr stark!

SHIT KID WHAT THE FUUUCK-

no

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

jfjidid

 

**peber**

i dont want to be all spider

 

**the Best Kiddo™**

all spider wants to be you

 

**peber**

D:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is half silly half sad prepare your kleenexes
> 
> also i want to put some of the stuff weve said here on a t shirt


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is long and has a lot of filler but i didnt know what to cut out because i had main point of this chapter and then i had like crack snuggles and then birbs?? it was wild and i wanted it all
> 
> tw for uh. minor character death and implications of bullying
> 
> nicknames are hell but uhh  
> -bean names: take a gander  
> -son bean, Death is among us: stitchy  
> -drop another building on me please: peter  
> -iron meme: tony  
> -arm burrito: matt  
> -bean and frank: frank castle
> 
> at some ppint like half the chapter was just replaced with a copy of it?? wild ujj i took out the copy but youre still missing a bunch ooOOPS

  **[#general]**

 

**son bean**

whdt the fuck

hply Shit my head hurts

 

**ninja bean**

WHY THE FUCK QRE THERE BIRDS

 

**birb bean**

Hey let Bean, Soybean, Tofu, Little Stitchy, and Natbird at peace

 

**spider-bean**

birds!!

 

**son bean**

ehst

 

**birb bean**

They're my new children now

 

**ninja bean**

THEYREONME

 

**son bean**

little stitijcu??

 

**birb bean**

Well they're friendly

You're a birds nest now Matt

Deal with it

 

**ninja bean**

IMIAAA

 

**birb bean**

_Birds to_ **me**

 

**son bean**

hrs git super senses domt let then dtsy on him they probs stinky

 

**birb bean**

Well at least they're not on you anymore Matt

Oh shit

Imma run now

 

**son bean**

whu

hm

 

**birb bean**

Matt looks a bit infuriated

I have scattered my birds in the vents now

Yall never take us alive

 

**son bean**

whus one named little stitchy

 

**birb bean**

The mountain bluebird with the a little-wanky flying style

He was abused at his former home and needed a new one

Well

They all did

 

**son bean**

poor babi :(((

 

**ninja bean**

Heln

 

**birb bean**

I think the bluebird likes you matt

I hope you know hes sitting on your head

 

**ninja bean**

Hrko

Bk

 

**birb bean**

Matt?

 

**ninja bean**

Itseatingmr

 

**son bean**

uhh maybr dont let the bird sit om him

 

**birb bean**

Ok ok ill get it

 

**ninja bean**

No I gotit

I got it

 

**birb bean**

Are you fine with the bird?

 

**ninja bean**

Yes

 

**birb bean**

Dont wanna make you uncomfy in anyway

Thought maybe you panicked

 

**son bean**

fyckin uwu its timr ti cry

 

**ninja bean**

No it just tried to eat me

 

**birb bean**

Awww

 

**ninja bean**

Why is it time to cry?

 

**birb bean**

He really likes you

Thats adorbs

He didnt want to eat you

He tried to get comfortable on your head

 

**son bean**

irS time to crt bc what happensd yestetdau is sinkimg in

 

**ninja bean**

Wait what happened?

 

**birb bean**

Oh what happened kid

 

**ninja bean**

Also he is in my hair now.

 

**son bean**

shr almkdt died

 

**ninja bean**

Who?

 

**son bean**

wadnda

 

**ninja bean**

Oh, damn.

 

**birb bean**

What

 

**son bean**

i almkst losther

 

**birb bean**

Oh come here kid

 

**son bean**

B?

 

**birb bean**

Cuddletime

 

**son bean**

okau

 

**birb bean**

And the birds join in

Tofu is a cuddler so he'll probably sit on your head and cuddle

 

**son bean**

i likr him

 

**ninja bean**

HelpitwaaaaaaaA

 

**son bean**

what

 

**ninja bean**

ITSNESINT

 

**birb bean**

What?

 

**ninja bean**

ITSNESTING

 

**birb bean**

Aww

 

**ninja bean**

QHEL0

 

**birb bean**

If ypu dont want it to then you just put your hand to your head

Nd he will jump on

And then yoy bring it to me

 

**ninja bean**

He just packed mewjm I idid

 

**birb bean**

I have a little box for nesting

Huh?

 

**ninja bean**

He pecked me. Ee he will not leave oh lord

 

**birb bean**

Then just come here

Ill take care of it

 

**ninja bean**

No

 

**birb bean**

Really

You want him to kill your hair

 

**spider-bean**

mr murdock can i see you with the bird

 

**ninja bean**

I sure cant

 

**birb bean**

Pff

 

**spider-bean**

_sighs_

MAY i see you with the bird?

 

**son bean**

hehe may

 

**ninja bean**

Yws

 

**son bean**

pebrr

 

**spider-bean**

shut your fuck dog .jpg

 

**ninja bean**

Helv

 

**spider** **-bean**

its too early to be alive

 

**birb bean**

Well I have soy bean, bean and natbird here if you wanna see more birds

 

**son bean**

therrs a bird naned little stitchy!!!!

 

**ninja bean**

Pleae3dh

AA

 

**spider-bean**

i want to see rhe bird in mr murdocks hair

 

**birb bean**

Lil stitchy is on matts head

And tofu on stitchys

 

**son bean**

he sure is!

 

**spider-bean**

i wanna see them both

 

**son bean**

i lovd tofu

 

**spider-bean**

im on my way

 

**son bean**

he good

 

**birb bean**

There are 5

Sooo

 

**ninja bean**

Does it like the dcoplor I've been totd its rswxx Z A

 

**birb bean**

Wow it gets worse

 

**son bean**

also sonic is in my lap and lu is layimg on uncle clint!!!

all my babis are here

 

**birb bean**

Yep

 

**ninja bean**

Peter does my hair still look ok

 

**birb bean**

What hair

Thats a nest

 

**son bean**

yuor hair looked okbefore?

 

**birb bean**

Burn

 

**ninja bean**

I don't know did it

 

**birb bean**

It was hair

Sooo

 

**ninja bean**

Thanks bitch helpful

 

**spider-bean**

your hair looks fine

it looks soft,,,

 

**ninja bean**

Please dont theres already a bird nesting in it.

 

**spider-bean**

ok

ur hair still looks soft tho

 

**ninja bean**

Bleaer

 

**spider-bean**

i wont touch it i promise

 

**son bean**

his hair is soft can confirm

 

**ninja bean**

How would you know

 

**son bean**

uncle foggy

 

**spider-bean**

mr murdock looks like a dad rn

he gives off Big Bird Dad Vibes

 

**son bean**

he is dad

 

**spider-bean**

he is your dad

hes your dad, boogie woogie woogie

 

**son bean**

hehe

 

**spider-bean**

unfortunately i am lacking in fathers

 

**son bean**

oh

 

**spider-bean**

however i do have an uncle dad

 

**son bean**

oH

 

**spider-bean**

which is still yeet

 

**son bean**

H

 

**spider-bean**

i also have many moms and aunt moms

 

**son bean**

so yesteeday i washed my sheets right? well lulu apparently puked on them

 

**spider-bean**

_t poses_

 

**son bean**

time to cry

 

**spider-bean**

oh no

 

**son bean**

my poor babo

babi

 

**birb bean**

I hope she doesn't puke on me

 

**son bean**

shes fine now i thimk

 

**spider-bean**

thats good

 

**son bean**

yes i just Hh.

getting up and doing more laundry sounds Bad but i cant hide in my bed all day so

 

**ninja bean**

Ue

 

**birb bean**

Hmm

 

**ninja bean**

Hm.

 

**son bean**

hrm

aghutfhhghdu

 

**ninja bean**

HHh

 

**son bean**

ysbsbeswbsnmdhdhdbdb

 

**birb bean**

(done loki emoji)

 

**magic bean**

Hhejejwwo

Hewwo

 

**son bean**

wanda!

 

**ninja bean**

HelP

 

**magic bean**

¿?

 

**ninja bean**

BirDS

 

**magic bean**

Hjnnn

Yess

Thrhrebburds

 

**son bean**

!!!!

 

**ninja bean**

hesnested

 

**magic bean**

Awwe

 

**birb bean**

Hey wanda

You wanna see natbird

 

**ninja bean**

H

 

**birb bean**

Or more lik

Have natbird on your head

You'd Like her

 

**magic bean**

y

 

**son bean**

uncle clint

 

**birb bean**

Yes?

 

**son bean**

could you make little stitchy get off of dad?

 

**ninja bean**

NO

 

**son bean**

h

 

**birb bean**

Yes

If he wants

 

**son bean**

i thought you were upset dad nvm

 

**magic bean**

Hes honored

 

**son bean**

valid

tofu is in my hair!!!

 

**magic bean**

Uugghgh

 

**son bean**

i love him

 

**ninja bean**

He lives here now

 

**magic bean**

Whjis was nppanickcing sjso mmeuchnmlast jufuhht

 

**son bean**

valid

 

**ninja bean**

English

 

**son bean**

why was nat panicking so much last night

i think

 

**birb bean**

I still dont know what happened

 

**magic bean**

Njo

Whonwass appanicjingn kso mkjcjb laastt jiight

 

**son bean**

who was panicking so much last night?

 

**ninja bean**

H

 

**magic bean**

Yyessa

 

**son bean**

i was slightly panicked

and mom was panicked

and i dunno after that

 

**magic bean**

L look kko

Waasntn

Dsasd waass bhut hehs hiiding iy

 

**son bean**

makes sense

 

**ninja bean**

I'm dying.

 

**son bean**

oh rip

 

**magic bean**

Ppsl

 

**birb bean**

Whyy

 

**magic bean**

Dodnt maked that's joke

 

**son bean**

fair

 

**ninja bean**

B)

 

**magic bean**

Dfying dfufkin sucjs

Hehy Stottchy

Stitchy

 

**ninja bean**

I know it does.

 

**son bean**

hi

 

**magic bean**

Stitchu

U wwnan

Brijf me food?

 

**son bean**

sure

where are you

 

**magic bean**

Room

 

**son bean**

i made muffins already

 

**magic bean**

Cannt rrly movs

 

**son bean**

stress baking for the win :dabs:

 

**magic bean**

:iwoulddabbackbuticantmove:

 

**ninja bean**

Nice.

 

**son bean**

th

thats concerninf

 

**ninja bean**

Eh.

 

**son bean**

shouldnt yuo be able to move??

 

**magic bean**

I ddde from mental bascklash

It was mental

And it killed me

So

 

**ninja bean**

She can type well enough, can't be that bad.

 

**son bean**

h.

 

**magic bean**

Im usig my maatic to di thuus

 

**son bean**

do N t

that seems bad

 

**magic bean**

B)

 

**ninja bean**

That's what that smell is.

 

**magic bean**

¿?

 

**son bean**

h m telling lokjdad

 

**ninja bean**

F.

* * *

**why is an entire section missing good job kat🔧**

**spider-bean**

im not stupid, shed die if she wasnt on life support

**dr bean**

I… I'm so sorry.

**spider-bean**

theyre gonna pull the plug when i leave

i want to stay

but

i dont think i could wathx

_dabs in terrible person_

**son bean**

not a terrible person

**spider-bean**

i should stay bur i cant

**son bean**

thats ok

**spider-bean**

mr stsrk is flying mw home

**son bean**

i know it doesnt help much but i have a blanket and pillow nest with movies and snacks if yoy want

you domt habe to join me but if youd like to you can

**aunt spidermom bean**

Peter, I'm so so sorry

**spider-bean**

ok

its not youe faulrs

**dr bean**

Peter, you are not a terrible person just because you don't want to see her death.

**spider-bean**

i just

akfhakdhaka

ok

**son bean**

ive brought all of the animals i could find to the blanket nest

**magic bean**

Peter, where are you?

**spider-bean**

common rom for now

im sorry

**magic bean**

Hngn

I'm xoxkin to hkijn yiu

**spider-bean**

ok

im sorry

**son bean**

nest is in common room so if yall want to cuddle or anything we can

**magic bean**

Please

I ssitil cannt rexactfly moccve

**son bean**

do yuo need help

**magic bean**

Ihthankgof

**spider-bean**

ill get you

**son bean**

m coming too

**magic bean**

@aunt spidermom bean

Mm

Mom

**spider-bean**

im sorry

**magic bean**

Don't be.

None of this is your fault.

**spider-bean**

okay

im sorrr- _gets licked by lulu_

**son bean**

hehe

my babi knows what to do

**birb bean**

Birbs coming in

Dont be surprised when they nest on your head

Well at least Bean, Soy bean and Natbird

**son bean**

tofu is still. on. my head

i love him

**birb bean**

And Lil Stitcht is still with matt

**magic bean**

Ohb

Fuck

Sorry

Ssiorry peyer

**spider-bean**

its ok

i. sorry

**aunt spidermom bean**

Peter come here hon

**spider-bean**

_leans over cuddle pile_

**aunt spidermom bean**

Do you need anything? Like hugs?

**spider-bean**

i need seven boxes of girl scouts lemonades cookies

and three boxes of thin mints

**birb bean**

I got them

** [#abengers-group-therapy] **

**iron bean**

fear of being a father intensifies

i know adoprung petef wad a last kunute pdecision but that diesnt mean i dOKbt wabt ti adopt him

but im terrified im gojna fuck uo and be like howarz

**spider-bean**

mr stark?

**iron bean**

shit sirry

**spider-bean**

no its ok

mr stark youve been nothing but nice to me

**iron bean**

i akmost got tou killed

**spider-bean**

you didnt know i was gonna crash a plane in a hoodie

**iron bean**

what if i had

**spider-bean**

you didnt. thats what matters.

mr stark, i have confidence youll be a great dad. and you dont even really have to be a dad dad if yoy dont want to. hell you dont have to adopt me if you dont want to

**iron bean**

ok im sorry

**spider-bean**

its fine

**ninja bean**

You want me to finalize the paperwork than?

**iron bean**

please

**ninja bean**

On it.

**iron bean**

Thanks

**ninja bean**

Of course.

 

**[#general]**

 

**spider-bean**

funerals on saturday :)))) help

 

** drug hound **

F

 

**cold bean**

m sorry peber

 

** drug hound **

Whos?

 

**spider-bean**

mays

 

** drug hound **

Oh. I'm so sorry kid.

 

**spider-bean**

its okay

its not like you killed her

 

** [PM: @peter + @castle] **

 

**castle**

you doing okay?

 

**peter**

yeah sorry

 

**castle**

it's fine.

if there's anything i can do to help, let me know.

 

**peter**

thanks

i gtg to school sorry

 

**castle**

see you, kid

 

**peter**

see you

 

** [#general] **

 

**Death is among us.**

I A M. AW A K E

 

**drop another building on me please**

too bad

 

**arm burrito**

I don't think Wanda bit me.

 

**Death is among us.**

maybe frank bit you (tea emoji)

 

**drop another building on me please**

maybe you bit you

 

**arm burrito**

The angle suggests it.

 

**Death is among us.**

hm.

maybe when you got your burrito?

 

**arm burrito**

Also kid what the fuck.

The burrito was yesterday night, but I woke up in the medbay that morning with the wound.

 

**Death is among us.**

why am i being what the fcukd

 

**arm burrito**

You said Frank did it. I'm not even going to say anything else about that.

 

**Death is among us.**

B;;)

 

**arm burrito**

Wow.

 

** bean and frank **

i haven't bitten anyone who wasn't okay with it.

 

**arm burrito**

Frank theres children here.

 

**Death is among us.**

maybe he wad ok with it

 

**arm burrito**

Reign it in a little, will ya?

 

**Death is among us.**

dont reign it in

 

**arm burrito**

I don't think I was okay with this, seeing as there is now an entire chunk missing from my arm.

 

** bean and frank **

for all you know someone could've asked me to bite them in a non-sexual way.

yeah, i didn't bite you.

 

**arm burrito**

That is, wh

Whatever.

 

**Death is among us.**

tfw your ship sinks B,,,(

 

**arm burrito**

Ship?

 

**Death is among us.**

B)

 

** bean and frank **

don't answer that, kid.

 

**arm burrito**

I'll ask Fogs.

 

**Death is among us.**

ot4 for the win

 

** bean and frank **

dom't answer that, nelson

 

**arm burrito**

You know I just have a list of shit I plan to ask him, right?

 

**Death is among us.**

i didnt know you could make lists

 

**arm burrito**

Why wouldn't I be able to make lists?

 

**Death is among us.**

dunno

 

**arm burrito**

Yeah.

 

**Dearh is among us.**

just figured you couldnt

 

**arm burrito**

Vaguely ableist, but okay.

 

**Death is among us.**

not in an ableist way i just dont know anyone but youwho can successfully make a list

 

**arm burrito**

That is... odd. But okay?

 

**Death is among us.**

B)

 

**arm burrito**

No, between the three of us, Foggy is the only one *willing* to tell me. Karen thinks it's hilarious. I can't look it up because last time i did I got the wrong definition and uh, misused a word. Sarcasm doesn't translate well over text.

 

**drop another building on me please**

when mr stark wakez up tell him i did. in fact, go to school today

 

**arm burrito**

Hm.

 

**drop another building on me please**

im seriohs im hoing now

going

 

**Death is among us.**

tell mr stark i need to be rescued from skool

 

**arm burrito**

You're hoing right now? Thanks for sharing.

Tmi, Peter.

 

**arm burrito**

dude pass the hoe please i need to make a farm in minedcraft

 

**drop another building on me please**

bye yalk

 

**arm burrito**

Yalk.

 

**Death is among us.**

bye peber

 

**arm burrito**

Bye Peter.

 

**drop another building on me please**

bye

 

**arm burrito**

Take a bar with you or something. I can tell you haven't eaten.

 

**drop another building on me please**

ok.

 

**arm burrito**

Good kid.

 

**Death is among us.**

wow dad why dont you tell me m a good kid

 

**arm burrito**

Eat it.

 

**Death is among us.**

dont you LOVE me

or at least tolerate me

 

**drop another building on me please**

im sorry

 

**arm burrito**

I don't know the names of my emotions, cut me some slack.

 

**Death is among us.**

i call you dad why wont you tell me m a good kid

 

**arm burrito**

It's okay Peter, I get it.

I do.

 

**drop another building on me please**

ok

im asoryy

 

**arm burrito**

I'm sorry Peter.

Have a good day at school.

 

**drop another building on me please**

you too

 

**arm burrito**

Thanks kid.

 

**Death is among us.**

hm

 

**arm burrito**

If you ever want to talk about it you know where to find me. I get it.

Hm yourself kid.

 

**Death is among us**

:(

 

**arm burrito**

B)

Except :) because my glasses broke

 

**Death is among us.**

sad

howd they break

 

**arm burrito**

Dunno, I think it happened the other night.

 

**Death is among us.**

B;)

 

**arm burrito**

The night where I woke up the next day half dead B;)

 

**Death is among us.**

so negativr

you woke up half alive!!

which is better than not alive

also WHAT THE FUXK HAPPENED DAD DO O NEED TO FIGHT SOKEONE

 

**arm burrito**

Think it was all me, kid. I don't really remember.

 

**Death is among us.**

B(

@bean and frank what do i do when my dad doesnt know how to not get half dead

 

**arm burrito**

Shrug.

Think he's busy.

 

**Death is among us.**

lame

 

** bean and frank **

you wrap him in a burrito and, if he's okay with it, snug. otherwise, do not snug.

 

**arm burrito**

Nevermind than.

Also eat shit Castle.

 

**Death is among us.**

dad 2, wanna help me wrap him in a burrito

 

** bean and frank **

yes

 

**Death is among us.**

ok

 

**arm burrito**

No.

 

**Death is among us.**

yes

 

**arm burrito**

You can't do this.

 

** bean and frank **

(heart emoji)

 

**arm burrito**

This is assault.

Frank what in the ass.

 

** bean and frank **

ikr

 

**Death is among us.**

is it a "no i dont wanna b burritod" or a "no Get Off this is Not Good"

 

**arm burrito**

No I don't want to be burritoed. Watch the arm.

 

**Death is among us.**

oh ok we gotchh thsn

wrap him up dad 2

 

**arm burrito**

Phuck

 

** bean and frank **

wrapping

 

**Death is among us.**

good

 

**arm burrito**

NooOo99OO

 

**Death is among us.**

i got lil stitchy for him

 

**arm burrito**

NOT THE BIRD

 

**Death is among** **us.**

i gotta yeet to school but could you stay with him dad 2

 

** bean and frank **

now stay fucking safe

yes

maybe

 

**arm burrito**

DONT LEAVE ME WITH HIM

 

** bean and frank **

probably

 

**arm burrito**

NOOO

 

**Death is among us.**

also i can move the bird if you dont want him dad but i thought you liked him

 

** bean and frank **

yeah, i'm staying for this.

aww, the bird likes you!

 

**arm burrito**

IM GONNA DIE AAAAAAA

Its N E S T I N G

 

**Death is among us.**

the bird loves him!!

 

**arm burrito**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**Death is among us.**

GOTTA Y E E T

 

** bean and frank **

have fun

 

**Death is among us.**

I wont thanks

 

**[#general]**

 

**iron meme**

@drop another building on me pls Peter why did karen tell me to come pick you up

Peter

?

She wont tell me what happened

 

**drop another building on me please**

nothing happened im fine

 

**iron meme**

Yeah, no

What happened?

 

**drop another building on me please**

nothing out of the ordinart

 

**iron meme**

The schools calling one sec

Peter.

 

**drop another building on me please**

im sorry

 

**iron meme**

Are you ok?

 

**drop another building on me please**

im sorry

imsorrt

 

**iron meme**

Im not mad

What happened?

 

**drop another building on me please**

nothing sOKmeones just salty they dont have you for a dad

 

**iron meme**

What happened.

 

**drop another building on me please**

im fine

 

**iron meme**

peter

Peter.

Its okay im not upset i just want to know what happened

Im on my way okay?

 

**drop another building on me please**

nodonycone

font

dobct

 

**iron meme**

Did someone say something about May?

 

**drop another building on me please**

no

not directly

most people liked her

dont come its ok ill be fine

 

**iron meme**

Peter the principal says you got in a fistfight

And i know damn well you wouldnt throw a punch without a good reason

 

**drop another building on me please**

i didnt hit him i swear

i fibft

i didbt do it

 

**iron meme**

Its ok

Who didnt you hit

 

**drop another building on me please**

anyone

 

**iron meme**

Im here

Peter....

who hit you?

 

**drop another building on me please**

no one i fell

 

**iron meme**

(i smell bullshit emoji)

 

**drop another building on me please**

it doesnt matter okay?

im fine

 

**iron meme**

Dont make me call murdock

 

**drop another building on me please**

IM FINE OK

ITS DONE

HES FUCKED OFF TO WHEREVER HE CAME FROM AND IM FINE OKAY

IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE

 

**iron meme**

Okay

Do you want to come home

 

**drop another building on me please**

bp

no

 

**iron meme**

Okay

 

** [#general] **

 

** bean and frank **

matt is soft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry
> 
> "i cant breathe but i can adopt a kid"  
> "why breathe when you can o v e r t h i n k e v e r y t h i n g"

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on waterfall.social: [starks](https://starks.waterfall.social)


End file.
